Devotionals

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When Confusion Comes
© 2005
by

Stephen A. Peterson


My maternal grandmother would tell her grandchildren, “If your desire is to find what you believe you have misplaced, don’t even waster your time—rather straighten up your living space.”

“That basket of clothes, the foodstuff not shelved and children’s’ toys all over the place, pick them up then put them away,” grandmother would say, “You will not only get your place cleaned up and things done but you are very likely to find what it is you were looking for in the first place!”

There are times, at least, in my life when it seems that I have lost God and any contact with Him. It does not come all of a sudden. It seems to come gradually. Something seems to be missing and not right within my daily comings and going. Life appears uninteresting, empty, confused and out of control. Then I realize that the situation is not getting better but increasingly worse. To find God, I realize I have to get busy and get real about cleaning the house of my soul and life inside and out if the Lord is going to abide in me and my life.

In a day without God, the day begins with disorder, confusion, uncertainty and more “maybes” then “certainties”. Perturbed by the actions of my wife, my children, my neighbors, my employer, my clients, I question who I am and what my mission in life is. A client has tried my patience beyond my endurance—the client verbalized how inadequate a professional I am. How out of control I am with the youth. To the young person, I am a snitch to a judge. I’m concerned about the 2004 Presidential election to the point that I’m sick of the lying. I feel put upon by people such that I feel unappreciated. This baggage of misery and despair is piled up inside of me like the dirty clothes scattered over the house. And as distasteful as my bad haircut or my socks hanging over the bath tub.

To get back into the fold, experience the joy of the Lord’s peace and presence. I realize I have to clean up the rooms of my heart for Him to abide in. The physical surroundings—putting the dirty clothes in the washing machine, adding detergent and turning the machine on is a must before I can get rid of what distresses me. When I focus on Jesus Christ, out goes the hurts, hostilities, resentments, repressed feelings down the drain with the dirty water. When the next counseling session arrives, I will greet the young person with a hand shake and something to eat. I give the concerns about the Presidential election up to the Providence of Jesus Christ as he tells shows us what to do by His life on earth. I will make myself more presentable to the public.

I realize I cannot restore order in my life without the hands of God. God never expects more to be perfect and, in truth, really never left me. I left Him trying to do things myself in what I call daily living. I have just buried God in myself rather bury myself in Him through prayer and Sacred Scripture.

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