Christian Living

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Are you searching for a lasting friendship? Most everyone wants at least one outside their own family circle where they can count on total acceptance. Keep in mind that any planned or chance meeting could lead into this prized possession. However, one must realize the need to experience a diverse set of people on different levels of relationship before a long-term match can be found. At the end of the search, when that special friendship is found, continual blessing is the seeker’s reward.

The first level in a potential lasting friendship happens all the time. Initial introductions are made but end soon afterwards because nothing seems to click. We found nothing in common because our interests, likes and dislikes, are on opposite ends of the spectrum. With our unspoken assessment made, we leave with no interest in another planned follow up occasion. There is nothing wrong with these quick truthful evaluations because they help us weed out and guard against clutter.

Another level that seems to have more potential for lasting friendship can inspire us to continue on with our efforts. We purposefully schedule time and attention to opening up and drawing in closer. However, along the way we or they figure out that the purpose for the relationship was only to fulfill a temporary need. Outwardly, we each may craft a favorable desire to continue but inside we are busily designing excuses for future inattention. We have learned that after the need subsides, then the relationship usually dies.

Then there is a third level. This much sought after friendship is the rarest of all. When these relationships happen, we are amazed at how everything seems to click from the beginning. Our kindred spirits unite as we share all the stuff we have in common. As we continue to draw closer, we yearn to be and do everything together. These few and far between friendships normally have no end.

Why are these friendships so successful? It is because of the mutual trust and respect developed when both friends commit to: listening without a judgmental or condemning attitude, keeping each other’s confidences secure, and giving constructive wisdom in love on a case by case basis. These friendships also keep unsolicited words and deeds of appreciation flowing on a continual basis. Their actions go far beyond the normal coming to help during the occasional “emergencies of life” or the “only if I have to” kind of thoughtfulness. Now, it may be easier to see why this level of friendship can last. No relationship can be sustained based on just a need or common interest alone. Friendships last because those involved know they are truly loved and accepted by the other.

Even as valuable as the above components are to longevity in a friendship, they can not compare to the importance of each being able to give and receive unlimited grace and forgiveness when offenses of one are revealed to the other. Some situations between friends can be healed quickly on a moments notice following the incident. However, be warned that there are some offenses that may take a lot longer and are much harder to forgive. In these tougher situations, in order for the friendship to survive, the ones involved have to be willing to move towards the goal of godly forgiveness until it is finally reached. Usually this kind of healing flows after the wronged friend remembers their own offenses and the unmerited grace and forgiveness they were given. Plus, each realizes that their friendship is much more important than hanging on to bitterness or memories of any unwise behavior. Fortunately, most of these long awaited reconciliations do occur given time. What is their reward for seeking to repair the relationship? The reward becomes a stronger bond of trust that fortifies their friendship for the future.

So, are you still interested in searching for this third level of friendship? If so, resist despair along the way and know that you are not on this trip alone. If you look closer, you will see that the pathway is lighted and well traveled by those who have and are headed in the same direction. Just keep in mind that when you have finally arrive at a place of lasting friendship, the realization will come that it was well worth the patience required to complete the journey.

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