Marriage

Gleaning From The Book of Esther,The Marriage Conversation 2

by Janice S Ramkissoon 
10/08/25
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 "And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone."
 1 Thessalonians 5:14 

In grieving my own marriage, I was able to weep for the same losses in my great-grandmother, my grandmother (who raised me) and my mother. I wept, understanding that they didn’t have the resources now available to my generation, and so they struggled to simply survive. I also weep for my generation, who now have access to such resources yet are still heading to the divorce court.

My grandmother stayed in what I now understand to have been an unhealthy marriage. It looked like a ‘good marriage’ from where I stood, and most of the values I uphold today came from my exposure to their marriage. Now older and more aware of the intricacies of marriage and parenting, I can see where they could have had a better life with a little support and education in the area of marriage and parenting. My mother's marriage ended in divorce. I am still feeling the after-shock 27 years later. I want to help bring about change so that there will be less of this experience in the generation to follow.

I would have liked it if the stories of the mothers before me were different, and I had a richer relational heritage. Nevertheless, their stories inspire me to want to learn and grow so I can help to educate others. The baton is now in my court, and I have access to the resources available to married couples, which allows me to see what they couldn’t see and provides me a better way to overcome. 

The ball is now in my court. I have an opportunity to do right by my offspring and the generations to follow. I want to thrive and teach them how to do the same. I do not just want to pass on what was handed to me. My mother and grandmother passed on survival skills. I now get to add to that and pass on skills that will enable them to thrive in life.

Their stories ignite the flame inside me to see change. Their stories make me hungry for knowledge, cry out for understanding and find me asking God for wisdom daily. Their stories lit a flame inside for the education of self and others in the area of marriage and parenting.

My husband and I never saw a healthy, thriving marriage up close. Therefore, we didn’t know what was expected of us in marriage. Everything was based on feelings. We didn’t know that we had to put in hard work to maintain our marriage until after it suffered neglect. Now it is a struggle just getting on the same page in order to have the conversation that will get us started on the path towards health.

Being raised in the church, I know that we (the church) have the answer to the problems we face and I want to be an agent of change in challenging the church to stir up the ‘teaching’ gifts within the body and get passionate about Biblical education so that we can all obtain Godly wisdom, in teaching/leading the families within our fellowships so that we can lead our individual families well.

“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” (2 Timothy 3:16-17)

Continues in The place of Marriage Education in the Church