Grief

Silent Cries Part 3

by Janice S Ramkissoon 
07/22/25
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“I hurt for the child whose mother has been raped. If that mother does not get the comfort and help needed towards aiding the healing process she will be unable to bond with her child. That child is often introduced to a loveless world for that mother simply cannot give to that child the love they crave.

I profoundly empathise with the woman who has faced the devastating impact of sexual violence… Though I don't condone the action of the rapist, neither do I condemn him… I hurt for the child who came from their union.

I cannot talk about my father without referring to my mother. Together, they are my parents. But the difficulty for me is thinking about that fatherless child with little or no affection from a mother. A deficit of parental love, security, discipline etc. finds that child seeking to fill that void through ways and means that were never in God's original plan.

Some of these children will make it through life one way or another, given the right support. Others will struggle immensely and while the struggle increases, the hurt intensifies. When people are hurting they make more mistakes. Often they inflict pain and cause more hurt to themselves and to others around them. It's a vicious cycle.

Now that I know the person I should be calling father, I think about what he may have endured all the years of watching me grow up around him yet no one knowing he was my father. I'll never know the pain he has endured for the fifty years of me not knowing who he was or the past three years of us both knowing through the results of a DNA paternity test.

I also do not know how the person whose name I wore for 28 years of my life felt knowing he committed such a crime against my mother. He went to his grave believing he was my father when all along it was someone else. His crime should have been punished but it would seem as if he got away with it. What kind of life could he have, knowing what he had done to my mother! I believe he would have had to contend with that for the rest of his life. His father tried to do right by me, knowing what his son had done. Nevertheless, the guilt his son carried did not result in repentance, instead, he hid for the rest of his life. I never did get to meet him.

What lessons have I learned?

What knowledge have I gained?

Who can I help from my wilderness journey?

Lord, I look to You for direction. May Your Holy Spirit be my guide.”

That was my original FaceBook post for Silent Cries part 3, with a few edits. The following is what I would like to share as a follow-up:

God's grace and His mercy towards us are precious gifts, available to all who will receive it. Our heavenly Father is faithful and just to forgive our sins when we confess them, receive His forgiveness, turn from our wicked ways and be healed.

Grace and mercy is what we receive each day when we are given another chance at life. They are undeserved yet we benefit from such gift on a daily basis. The gift we receive each day, we get to pass on to others. We live in a broken world and therefore hurt is inevitable. Once we understand that concept, we can accept that pain will reach all of us in one form or another. Injustice will cross our path and when that happens we get the opportunity to choose life. (Deu. 30:19-20).

Not allowing the grieving to run its course so that healing can be experienced means that we will choose to live at grief station (living in a state of perpetual grieving). That is slowly giving up on life. Alternatively, we can let love cover all wrongs (Prov. 10:12). Choosing to love someone who has done us harm is not something we can do in our own strength. It takes the love of God inside us to release such a one to the One who is just.

Without God’s love, we will be consumed by hatred, holding onto the pain and re-living it again and again. The only remedy is forgiveness. However, we must first acknowledge the pain,and grieve the loss, in order to release the toxin from within. That will allow room for the love of God to fill us and be able to pass that love, through the act of forgiveness so that we can experience healing. 

Forgiveness is the key that opens the door to healing. 

"Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and from Jesus Christ, the Father's Son, will be with us, in truth and love." 2 John 1:3

© 2025, J. S. Ramkissoon.

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Original post was first shared on FaceBook October 2015