Christian Living

Alone and Forgotten

by paul hoffmaster
06/01/25
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A few months ago, my wife and I moved into a retirement community.  To say the least, it was a life-changing experience.  From the fields of agriculture, and lakes where the waves beckoned one’s involvement, and the green lawns awaiting their cuttings and gardens longing for their weekly pampering, to the “Halls of Passivity.”  It was challenging downsizing to a facility with a bed-and-breakfast atmosphere.  I got rid of so many things that I found myself calling out to them at night, wondering how they were being treated.  My wife has adjusted quickly, displaying emotional euphoria.  Being trained to follow the female verbiage that a happy wife makes a happy life, I walk the confines of the compound with a smile, hoping to engage reciprocity.   I quickly realized that women outnumber men by a large margin.  If a single man is wandering around, he better have his radar going, for the widowed women will appear on his starboard side without warning.  Much of the activities are sedimentary, like an array of card playing.  There is a short bus that can take people shopping, to restaurants, and even on excursions to different events with easy access to ramps. 

I have found many people in this community are lonesome.  Many of the occupants have been encouraged to relocate here by their children who won’t or can’t deal with their parents’ aging process.  I have tried to meet as many people as possible and to hear their stories.  I was amazed at how many people had made outstanding contributions to society; from working in the White House, to designers of parts for a spacecraft, university professors, an American Ambassador, artists, authors, inventors, veterans from all the military services, a Holocaust survivor, and the list goes on. 

What shocked me the most was how many people stay isolated in their apartments.  One man had stayed in his apartment for over four years.  Another man died in his room and was not discovered for days.  There are so many lonely and seemingly forgotten people who need to know someone cares.  When I meet people as they migrate to their mailboxes, looking for something more than advertisements and bills, I always offer a genuine greeting in the hope of starting up an exchange. To some people, it is like priming a pump as the words flow out of their mouth.

I never dreamed that the last phase of my life would be in a retirement village, but when I realized that there are people that need someone to care, I swallowed my pride and said, “Here I am Lord; I want to be Your voice, hands and feet to show Your love for the lonely and forgotten.”

The Scriptures make it very clear that a Believer is called upon to “…visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world” (James 1:27).  Instead of being entangled with the things of a self-centered life, Christians must reach out to the “alone and forgotten.”  Life is more than waiting for the final curtain.  It is a time to share about the “road most traveled,” and the experiences one has had through life (Titus 2:3-6).  There is a younger generation that needs advice and direction, and the “older” generation can offer them assistance on their journey.  We must convey that no matter how lonely they may be, they are loved and appreciated.  No matter how useless they feel, people need to hear their stories.  These veterans of life are not only in retirement villages but also in homes, waiting to be awakened from their slumber to a life worth sharing.