Family

You Don't Bring Me Flowers Anymore

by J.W. Phillips
02/11/25
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You Don’t Bring Me Flowers Anymore

Neil Diamond and Barbara Streisand, who coincidentally attended the same high school in New York City, had a hit song a number of years ago entitled, “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers Anymore.” Voicing the heartache of many women, this song concerns displays of affection they used to get but aren’t getting now.

Ray Stedman, the wise and seasoned minister under whom Chuck Swindoll undertook his internship, once wrote: “...the most common complaint of wives to marriage counselors (is) ... ‘My husband simply takes me for granted. To him, I’m another piece of furniture. I’m only important for what I do for him, not for who I am.’

This means that a wife is threatened at the very deepest level of her life. She no longer feels secure in her husband’s affection....”

Most husbands and wives can easily identify with this Saturday Evening Post article, entitled “The Seven Ages of the Married Cold.” The article tracks how a husband treats his wife when she gets a cold.

First year:
Sugar dumpling, I’m worried about my baby girl. You’ve got a bad sniffle and there’s no telling about these things with all this strep around. I’m putting you in the hospital this afternoon for a general checkup and a rest. I know the food’s lousy but I’ll bring your food in from Roussinis. I’ve already got it arranged with the floor superintendent.

Second year:
Listen, darling, I don’t like the sound of that cough and I’ve called Doc Miller to rush over here. Now you go to bed like a good girl, please? Just for Papa.

Third year:
Maybe you’d better lie down, honey; nothing like a little rest when you feel punk. I’ll bring you something to eat. Have we got any soup?

Fourth year:
Look, dear, be sensible. After you feed the kids and get the dishes washed, you’d better hit the sack.

Fifth year:
Why don’t you get a couple of aspirins?

Sixth year:
If you’d just gargle or something instead of sitting around barking like a seal!

Seventh year:
For Pete’s sake, stop sneezing! Watcha trying to do, gimme pneumonia?

Not good.

II Timothy 3:3 actually predicted a time when men will be “unloving.” Here, the Greek word in the text for "unloving" is astorgoi, means without family affection.

Paul Verghese, a bishop of the Syrian Orthodox church, contends that romantic love isn’t to be found in the Bible. It comes, he says, from the French troubadours of the eleventh century.

But surely this is an overstatement. Ephesians 5:25 says a man must love his wife even as he loves his own body.

So with all the demands of the day, does this busy husband fail to take a bath? No.

To eat? No.

To sleep? No.

To wear appropriate clothing? No.

He’s very diligent to do all those things—and does so with remarkable consistency!

By analogy, God is saying, “Don’t let your affection for your wife be relegated to an optional and often overlooked status.”

The same chapter that tells husbands to love their wives also tells him to nourish and cherish them.

Curiously, the Greek words for "nourish" and "cherish" are found nowhere else in the New Testament. What’s more, these words are scarcely found elsewhere in Greek literature.

This scarcity of usage is attributed, no doubt, to the fact that in that day the Spartan qualities of strength and boldness were more appreciated than these words of affection.

Nevertheless, this is exactly what the inspired Word of God requires! Man isn’t just to be a leader; he’s also to be a lover.

Ephesians 5 also declares that the husband is to love his wife in the same way that Christ loves the church.

As we contemplate how the Lord loves his people, we recall from the Old Testament these words, “... he will rejoice over you with singing” (Zephaniah 3:17).

Can you imagine what it would be like to hear God singing?

Music, we know, has a way of communicating beyond language, thrilling the soul as little else can.

What wife wouldn’t be touched by a romantic husband’s rejoicing?

Granted, her husband may not be able to sing like God. In fact, he may not be able to sing at all! But if he follows the Lord’s example, he is going to find a way to give that adoring affection his wife needs.

Husbands, that’s your example!

Start praising your wife! She has so selflessly served you and she has exhibited such incredible goodness, you’ve got to be half blind not to see it.

Mark Twain said he could live two months on a good compliment. This is a sentiment we can easily understand. The well-chosen words of heart-felt praise do mean so much!

Husbands shouldn’t make their affection-needy wives wait two months. They should show her appreciation more often.

In this same verse men are also to honor their wife. The Greek word for "honor" means “weighty,” as does the Greek word for "glory".

To have weight in the way Scripture envisions it here is to have great significance, to have extraordinary value, to have immense influence.

Conversely, the Greek word for "dishonor" has an etymology suggesting steam, mist, or vapor—something which can so easily be blown away!

The question is: Do you treat your wife like air—you need her; you just don’t think about her very much?

Or, and here’s the follow-up question: Do you regard her as meriting great esteem, worthy of your highest affection and your utmost devotion?