Humor

Did I really Say That?

by James Snyder 
11/09/24
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I was working on my computer when The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage walked in and said, "Are you ready to go?" She caught me by surprise.

I looked up from my computer and, staring at her, said, "What are you talking about?"

"You remember what you said this morning? That we can go to to get our blood drawn for the doctor?"

I looked at her, not knowing what she was talking about, and said, "What doctor are you talking about?"

"Don't tell me you don't remember me telling you about our appointment this afternoon?"

I had no recollection at all about an appointment to have my blood drawn. I knew it was somewhere in our schedule, but I really didn't think it was for today. If she told me about it this morning, I do not remember.

Not knowing what else to do, I got up, followed her out to the car, and we went to the place to have our blood drawn. I knew we had it scheduled, but I did not think it was for today. But, I was wrong. I just didn’t hear correctly.

That's one of my problems. I don't remember a lot of things. It's not because I'm getting old, but because this has always been one of my problems. It's not that I can't hear. It's just that I sometimes am not listening to what people are saying, especially The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage.

I need to work on this weakness of mine, but I just don't know how to do it. When I'm doing some work on my computer, I can hear what's going on around me, but I don't understand, and I'm not really listening to it. I'm afraid I say "yes," not knowing what I am "yessing" to. That can get me into a lot of trouble. Believe me it has.

Sometimes, while watching TV, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage will point something out and say, "Did you see what that person just did?" Then she will laugh.

Of course, I didn't, but I did shake my head and say calmly, "Yes, my dear. I did see that. Yes, it is funny."

I need to look up the definition of lying. Some people misunderstand it, and I think I'm on that list.

However, I tried to improve my listening habits and pay attention to what people around me were saying.

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage recently approached me while I was working and said, "I'll take that $50 you promised me to get groceries."

I looked at her and said, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know, I ask you this morning if you could give me $50 to get groceries this afternoon. You said you would."

I pulled out my wallet; all I had was $50. I handed it to her, and then I thought about it. Is it a coincidence that she asked for $50, and all I had in my wallet was $50? Did she really ask me that morning for $50?

If I only paid attention, maybe I could figure some of these things out. I don't remember telling her that I would give her $50 for groceries, but after all, I am not going to infer to her that she is lying to me.

If only I would keep my mouth shut when I should, maybe I wouldn't get into some of the trouble I get into. And maybe, just maybe, if I had the volume in my ears turned up a little more, I might hear more clearly what's being said around me. If I could do those two things, I could escape some of the problems I get into.

While she was going to get the groceries, I pondered this subject for a while. Then, I had a wonderful thought that maybe I could get even with her. I thought about it, put it together very nicely, and was ready to put it together when she walked in.

She came home from shopping and put the bags on the table, so I went to the kitchen, looked at her, and said, "Can I have the Apple Fritter that you promised me now?" I was laughing on the inside and trying to keep it from coming to the outside. There was no way she was going to get out of this one.

Looking at me seriously, she said, "Oh, my dear. I got that Apple Fritter, and it smelled so good that I'm afraid I ate it on the way home."

To counteract that, I would number the days of my life. I have not known her to eat an Apple Fritter with this time she got me.

I wish I could prepare for the next trick she'll play on me, but I'm afraid I won't be able to.

Thinking about this I was reminded of a special verse of scripture. My spiritual life is based on my hearing the “word of God.”

 “So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God,” Romans 10:17.

I can read the Bible but not really hear what God is saying to me. If I don’t hear what God is saying how can I live a life that is pleasing unto the Lord. Daily I need to so surrender to God’s word that I understand what He really wants of me.