Humor

Ding-A-Ling There Goes Spring

by James Snyder 
07/20/24
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In my life, time has a way of getting out of control. If I could control time, I would be a very happy dude. My one question in life is, where does time go? And, can I retrieve it?

The other night, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I sat in the living room watching a little TV.

I then heard a deep sigh from the other resident in the room. Looking over I said, “Is anything wrong?”

Looking back at me with one of “her looks,” she said, “Why is it so hot?”

At first, I thought she was talking about me as a hot dude. But after thinking more about it, I concluded that I was not the hot dude she was talking about. She was talking about the weather.

Sighing very deeply she said, “I just can’t stand all of this hot weather anymore.”

She was born and raised in New York, and when the weather gets over her age, she can hardly handle it. The weather was not too much over her age, but it was over her age.

I waved my hand at her and said, “Oh, my dear, we are in Florida.”

Scowling at me, she said, “I know that, but it wasn’t this hot the other week.”

Chuckling on the inside, I responded, “Well, my dear, Spring is over and Summer is here. It’s the climate change, silly.”

I thought about that, and it’s pretty interesting that things go as quickly as they do. Why can’t Spring stay with us just a little bit longer? Why can’t Summer be shortened a month or two?

Time does have a way of flying by quickly; if you don’t pay attention, it will be gone before you know it.

Looking at me, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage replied, “I know Spring is gone, I know Summer is here, but why does it have to be so hot?”

Knowing her as well as I know her, I realized that was a rhetorical question. She wasn’t asking me for any information and so, I wasn’t going to volunteer any information whatsoever. That’s what usually gets me into trouble.

But I couldn’t help but think about that myself. Lately, we’ve been having some very hot and humid days. It’s been 100° or more almost every day. Some meteorologists are saying these are record hot days.

I don’t know if the record exists, but I would rather not play those records very long.

One thing about a hot day is that you can’t do very much activity, especially outside. I was outside one day doing some things, and pretty soon, I could hardly breathe, and my energy had all but disappeared. I think it went inside.

I came in after that, got a nice glass of iced tea, and sat in my easy chair.

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage looked at me and said, “So, why are you in the house?”

Without thinking, which is my usual MO, I replied, “It’s just too hot outside for me.”

“Oh,” she said sarcastically, “so Spring has disappeared?” And then she said, “Do you think it just might be Summer.”

I hate it when what I say comes back to haunt me.

On the other hand, these hot days do have a cool element.

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage came the other day and said, “I’m going shopping, would you like to come with me?”

Usually, I have no way of getting out of going shopping with her. But the heat spell has given me a good excuse. “Oh my dear,” I said rather sadly, “I would love to but it’s just too hot out there for me and I cannot handle all that heat. I’m so sorry.”

Looking at me with one of her smiles, I knew what she was thinking. That was, I was using the heat spell to get out of going somewhere shopping with her. Although she loves shopping, it is certainly not one of my favorite activities.

As she went out the door, I said rather quickly, “Don’t forget to get me some Klondike bars. I’m getting low on them.”

Looking back at me as she walked through the door, she said, “Well, if you were with me I probably would remember.”

When she left, I got a cup of coffee and went to my easy chair to sit and think about the morning. Sometimes, the most important thing in life is having a good excuse for not doing something.

When I think about the seasons of the year, everyone has something good to say about it. And, every one has something bad about it. I’m trying to learn to focus on the good aspects of a season. If I focus on the bad aspects, it just gets me down.

Every bad aspect has a good slant to it. My challenge is finding that good slant and using it for pleasure.

I thought of a verse in the bible that addresses this. Psalm 31:14-15 - “But I trusted in thee, O Lord: I said, Thou art my God. My times are in thy hand: deliver me from the hand of mine enemies, and from them that persecute me.”

No matter my circumstances, I can trust God for my time today, tomorrow and forever. Spring comes, Spring goes but nothing changes as far as God is concerned. I’m in His hands.