Poetry

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Another sleepless night and morning, and you get this.

VICTORIOUS
by: Mary Elder Criss

For years I have listened to
The voices in my mind
Telling me I'm not worthy
And I could never find
The strength to fight them off
Or believe they weren't true
In my self I was not satisfied
I believed everyone but You.
"You're nothing but a failure,"
"You'll never amount to much,"
"Your life does not matter,"
"And everything you touch
Is bound to fail and fall apart,
You let other people down,
In you there's no good at all,"
No hope within I found.
I carried this burden
For so many lonely years
I cried into my pillow,
I wept so many tears,
"You call yourself a child of God,
Yet you're a failure in His sight,
God surely is disappointed
He saved your soul that night."
"Nothing that you've ever tried has ever been worth much,
Even though you have asked,
You never feel His touch."
"I don't know why
You just don't quit and realize
You're just a freaking joke
Just grab another cigarette
And have another smoke."
"You'll never be what you want to be,
God asks things you can't do,
Let's call it what it really is,
He can't use someone like you."
And then one night, in tears again,
I had admitted my defeat
I knew the demons spoke the truth,
There was no good in me.
Until my daughter whispered
Through my misery and my pain,
"Mom, how can you believe the lies
That he speaks,
For this Christ was slain.
You taught me as a young child
That Jesus knew me before I was born
You tell me how He loves me
And now when I'm so torn
Apart with grief and sorrow,
Missing my husband so,
I know he is with our Savior,
I know where I will go.
If you had done nothing else
To succeed in your whole life,
You told me about Jesus,
And I will be His wife.
One day we will walk forever more
He will take us by the hand
And we will have eternity
To explore the promised land.
What was stolen here on this earth,
He will restore to me sevenfold,
You and Dad will live in a land
Where you never will grow old.
So don't tell me you suck at life
Don't listen to the lies
Simply raise your head
And straighten your crown
Lift your head up to the skies,
And realize where our hope comes from,
And know He loves you still,
It was Jesus speaking through you,
It is in His perfect will,
That we will all be victorious
We will crush the serpent's head
He cannot win the battle,
He is as good as dead.
For our Lord is King of Kings,
His name Immanuel
We will reign forever more
While the Deceiver writhes
in Hell."

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