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Our new born daughter seemed so fragile as we held her for the first time; and yet, she’d just survived a 21-hour marathon coming into the world. Children are not unbreakable, but they’re not as fragile as we think.
Just as car suspensions must deal with many types of road surfaces, so we must prepare our children to deal effectively with the many challenges in life. The world is not made up of pristine freeways and carefully maintained roads; and the idea of a perfect society where no one is hurtful, discriminatory or unkind, is unrealistic. We need to prepare our children to deal with the unpleasant things in life, not weaken them by being over-protective.
Dr Jonathan Haidt, a mental health researcher, identifies a philosophy of Safety-ism in the West, that is cultivating a generation of less resilient, more fragile individuals – especially those born since 1995. He believes the recent sharp rise in mental health issues amongst young people – including self-harm and suicide – is symptomatic of this increased fragility, and the rise of social media. Teaching youth to be more resilient, or anti-fragile, is more important than ever. (See https://youtu.be/jQcDw1r1lGw to know more)
Dr Haidt identifies 3 falsehoods that undermine our ability to cope with tough times.
1. What doesn’t kill you, will make you weaker. This contradicts the collective wisdom that “Tough times don’t last forever, but tough people do.” When we help our children to face and overcome difficult situations, we help them to discover that they are stronger than they think.
2. Always trust your feelings. We are all prone to emotional reasoning and confirmation bias that loses sight of the facts. Feelings – such as fear and anger – can distort our perceptions and lead to bad choices, when we don’t question them. We all think more clearly when we calm down.
3. Life is a conflict between good people and bad people. We’re all flawed and prone to tribalism and contradictory thinking. When we think we are the good person, our moral superiority blinds us to our own faults and inconsistencies. This makes it harder for us to listen, and to learn from the so-called “bad” people we disagree with.
Life is full of potholes, uncomfortable feelings, and difficult people, so learning to deal with them better can keep us out of some very dark places, and make us anti-fragile. (See https://youtu.be/6P2nPI6CTlc and be encouraged)
Easter reminds us that JESUS knows how difficult life can be, because He’s been there. He who overcame sin and death for us, offers forgiveness, healing, wisdom and hope to EVERYONE who will believe and follow Him.
Easter reminds us that JESUS knows how difficult life can be, because He’s been there. He who overcame sin and death for us, offers forgiveness, healing, wisdom and hope to EVERYONE who will believe and follow Him.
Jesus said, “Come to Me, all you who are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me…” Matthew 11:28,29
Peter also reminds us, "Cast all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7
Mark Trodd
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Mark...This is an excellent,well thought thru article of a subject that should be addressed more.Your comparative analysis to highways and our lives is spot on.Your article is not too short or long and makes its point clearly.I hope everyone who reads this shares it with someone.
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