Kids & Parenting

On the 22nd June 2017, as I prayed for our son, the saying, '...Did the best I could,' came to me. I was thinking about all the hard work he had put in over the academic year studying for that statistics exam. He was put forward by his Maths teacher to do this exam two years early.

There were many challenges, including getting used to a new teacher and a new style of teaching, adjusting to a new environment, getting to know a new set of children and having to daily sit through a lesson with little teaching taking place as half the time was taken up with the teacher trying to bring the class in order.

Many were simply not interested in learning and as a result time was wasted for both teacher and students who wanted to learn. At home we did the best we could to bridge that gap with the use of online resources. He practiced past papers, sitting around the dining table for hours at a time, practicing the discipline needed in the exam room.

He had sacrificed television programmes and social activities to gain extra knowledge and study for that exam. As I prayed, while he was sitting in that exam room, I thought, “He did the best he could, now I pray the Holy Spirit will bring back to his memory all that he has studied...". I prayed accordingly but it was after that prayer I realised why parents often repeat that phrase and also those defending parents.

They are genuinely...
We are genuinely...
...doing our best.

We often hear it in the present tense also, "I'm doing the best I can." It is also verbalised with hostility in some cases: "I'm doing the best I can. What else do you want me to do?"

After that thought, I began thinking about that phrase some more and I realised that:

Doing our best will never meet the mark. We will always come up short. Why? Because we are broken vessels trying to raise children born into a broken world who are themselves broken. It takes much sacrifice to lead well, and not all leaders are willing to sacrifice.

Without the help of The Holy Spirit, our best efforts will always come up short. We'll do brilliantly in some areas and terrible in others. We'll be consistent in some things and lapse in others. As we grow older our views change and we adapt to those changes. We improve in some areas and remain stagnant in others. We'll therefore have to humble ourselves and apologise for mistakes made (though, at the time, we believed that what we did was for the best).

Without the Holy Spirit's guide, we will damage those placed in our care. And even those who depend on the Holy Spirit's leading will, at times, make mistakes or bad choices. Hence, the importance of repentance and forgiveness. Seeing through the eyes of love, embracing truth and grace. Without that process in our relationships there will always be unresolved conflict.

Often we are trying to teach the truth but not delivering it seasoned with grace. In circumstances like these, what we are trying to teach gets lost as the focus turns toward our attitude and delivery method of the lesson. Unfortunately, very few in leadership (parent, carers or other leaders) see the need to analyse past actions and its impact on those placed in their care. In effect, they fail to see the damage caused and subsequently fail to repent, seek forgiveness and help the healing process to begin or to flow.

My heart aches for the many wounded soldiers among us. Will you help to bring healing to the lives you're connected to today? Start by analysing your past actions. If there is someone you need to apologise to, make the necessary steps towards saying sorry and allowing both yours and their hearts to begin a process of healing.

If you're the one who need to forgive, please ask God to soften your heart so you can be receptive and therefore give the gift of forgiveness.

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you"
(Ephesians 4:32).

Notes____First shared on Facebook, 26th July 2017. I was reminded of it this morning and chose to share it here with my Faithwriters friends.