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“When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.” Job 2:11-13 NIV
I remember spending time with an old friend during a season when he was going through an extremely difficult time. When he shared his struggles with me, I didn’t know how to comfort him. I wanted to say something wise and encouraging that would relieve his worries and fears, but his suffering was too great. I was at a loss for words. All I could do at that time was to keep him company and be a listening ear.
When Job’s friends first came to visit him, they also had no words of relief that they could offer him. For a man who had just lost his wealth, children and health, one after the other, how could they hope to say anything helpful? Instead, all his friends could do was to share in his grief and sit with him.
I’ve heard one preacher describe this moment when Job’s friends kept him company in silence as the time when they were the wisest and most helpful to him. It is only later when they open their mouths and try to come up with a well-intentioned but misguided explanation for Job’s sufferings that they end up doing more harm than good. Like Job’s friends, we are often tempted to try and come up with a quick fix solution to other people’s problems. However, sometimes the suffering of a friend is so great that no easy explanation or solution is available, and merely trying to offer them a quick fix through words will prove to be inadequate and insensitive.
Sometimes the best we can do to help someone in great distress is to simply be with them and give them time to share their grief. Our presence can be a physical sign to them that they are not alone in their struggles and there is a God who still cares for them. Although we may not be able to solve their problems, we can be a reminder to them that they have a friend who will be there with them during their toughest moments. When our words fail to console, may we learn to show God’s love through offering a listening ear and sitting with those who are suffering.
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