Testimonies

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I testify this about God and what He has done in my life.

I was seven years old when my parents got divorced. I blamed myself for the divorce. Everybody told me it wasn't my fault, but I was convinced it was.

In my middle school years, I didn't fit in. I didn't feel accepted. I didn't have any friends. I couldn't talk to anybody and I was made fun of so much. I hated it.

My freshmen year of highschool so much changed. I was in a school play with someone. I was always the shy girl that didn't go up and talk to anybody. This girl everyday at practice came up to me and talked to me. She showed me love and she was so happy all the time. I didn't know what she had but I wanted it. She drove me crazy. Eventually I came up to her to talk. The last performance we were talking backstage. She presented to me the gospel. I accepted Jesus in my heart for the first time. It felt so good.

A year passed and I was growing in who God wants me to be. Then things started to happen. I stopped growing and giving things over to God. I spiraled into a depressian. I used to cut and burn myself. I have scars to show that. Through people and so many different things, God just revealed to me how much He loved me and how much He wanted to care for me. I felt that love. And I wanted more of it. That's the reason why I stopped hurting myeself.

This past summer has been a roller coaster ride. I went to a spiritual bootcamp that really helped me to grow in God. Not long after I came back from that mini vacation, things started to happen. I found out that my mom is an alacholic and my stepdad was having an afair with someone since last November. I learned to rely on God so much in these times.

With that still happening, I have been feeling so isolated and alone in this world. I have strong Christian friends around me but I don't feel I can trust them. I was to the point Sunday that I wanted to take my life and end it right then. God gave me something that kept me alive. I'm called to be a family counsler and help kids and families to be what God wants them to be. How can I do this if I'm dead? How can you be doing God's will in your life if you decide to end it?

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