Humor

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Football, and a game of Life-

Did you hear the latest viral news coming out of the NFL?

The new commissioner, Paul Tagitaflu, is going to soon announce how, in an effort to address their sagging ratings, and to stay more socially relevant, the NFL owners, during their annual meeting, decided to do massive research and actually DO something about the biggest malady that annually, negatively effects the league. Addressing a serious problem that seems to, every year, effect the most unsuccessful losing NFL teams and their fans. The enlightening research illuminated the malady ( if acquired too often) that always kills a team's chances for winning.
As a result of the study, the Commissioner is going to announce that, at the decree of the commission, the perennial NFL affliction, known as, the "fumble", is going to be, from here on out, renamed ...
"A Corona".

The NFL says that they are very serious about eliminating this scourge from the game. So they are, henceforth announcing a new set of rules for the game to follow. These rules apply to both players /coaches and to the fans.

But first, they want to tell all of the great fans of the NFL, that if they don't want to play their own part in eliminating this deadly pest from the game, by denying the new term. Or by a continued, backwards insistance that a fumble be called "a fumble"... well, they should most definitely stay home, rather than pass this kind of dangerous attitude on to the other malady -hating and willing-to -win fans

The NFL also emphatically reiterates the point that if any fan in the crowd (And eventually, even at home, watching the game on t.v) , or any player, coach or even referee, even accidently or excitedly, out of the thrill of the game, or out of habit, yells out the ignorant, old- fashioned term, "Fumble!", will be promptly escorted from the stadium. ( And perhaps in a few years, out of their own living room, they hope).

Now, for some of the rule changes on the field, that begin next season (Whenever that might be):

If during a play, a defensive player causes (Or at least is thought to cause) the opposing team to suffer a Corona, the play will be immediately ruled, "dead by Corona", by an official.
The offending team will be penalized 40 yards. And the offending player, causing the Corona, will be quarantined to the bench for 14 minutes of game time. This 14 minutes to be used by the player to contemplate his offense, and to try to make sure he gets all Corona causing propensities out of his system.

Yes , this is a real game changer. But... it is for the better, I'm willing to admit.

The Commissioner has also decreed that during the season he will often, after the week's games, have a press conference to review the player's/coaches'/ fans' state of complicity to the new rule change. And he will work to adjust attitudes accordingly,. All a valliant effort to continue to eliminate this losing scourge.

Commissioner Tagitaflu also said , "If this noble effort is successful, we can move on to addressing other dangerous, losing NFL maladies. We can then go after victory killing afflictions ... like interceptions, injuries, and perhaps even the incomplete pass, and label them ALL as Coronas."

He then, went on to say, "Soon, with all of our dilligence and cooperation, as Football loving participants, we can make every team in the NFL a winner EVERY YEAR!"

Such forward thinking is all VERY exciting!

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