Christian Living

THERE'S AN APP FOR THAT

by Charles (Chuck) Robey
04/10/19
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“Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. “Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.”  What do people gain from all their labors at which they toil under the sun?  Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever.  (Ecclesiastes 1:2-4)

The other day, while relaxing in my old green "Frazier Dad's" recliner (you know the one held together with duct tape)  and while listening to my favorite 50's music, it hit me like a bolt of lightning, I suddenly, by measure of my often vivid recall memory bank, came to a realization. Just where have I been these last few years of my retirement?  And how did all this tech knowledge seem to by-pass my super intelligent ego?

Yes, that old cliché, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks" has suddenly become a reality in my life. A concept difficult for me apprehend now that these new-fangled technology devices have arrived on the scene. Oh well, it is difficult to make someone change the way they do something when they have been doing it the same way for a half century.

You see, you're never going to teach your elderly grandfather to use a computer. Nor will you get that young grandson to write longhand notes to his young puppy love. You just can't teach an old dog new tricks. Neither can you get that young tech-savvy educational hot-rodder to regress back in time to the simpler, good ole days.

Learning new skills, and acquiring the knowledge that goes along with those skills, can be very overwhelming to a simple old coot such as myself. Nonetheless, surviving in this highly technological world by keeping up with the latest trends and newest technologies is a must. You have your iPods, iPads, Smartphone's, X-boxes, Play Stations, PC laptops and the like.

Just sit down in the mall some Saturday afternoon and watch those young fingers sashay over the mini keyboard of that little hand held devil. I've tried the same maneuver, only to find my large fingers pressing any number of wrong keys.  It's just a miracle, how well they do what they do so fast.

I even got up the nerve awhile back, to ask my young college-trained attorney grandson the same question. His pat reply was," Oh Pa-Paw, these key boards are just not made for big hands." Just a polite way of saying it's not for my old wrinkled hands, right.

I once watched this same very young grandson, who has now grown into manhood, barely waddle over to the TV and simply push in a VCR tape to  play his favorite Winnie The Pooh story. I was amazed then but I'm even more amazed now, at the ways these young people can glide through the latest high tech devices.

Oftentimes now when family comes over to the house to socialize so-to-speak, they will all converse across the living room by way of these hand-held high tech imps, simply by a click, click, click. Has this younger generation lost their tongues?

Even giving Grandpa a computer was surely a pointless lesson in futility.I remember when my son-in-law thought he was doing a good deed, when he gave my elderly Dad that updated PC. Being much older and living alone, Dad would oftentimes forget the time, and call my son-in-law, when his PC crashed in the middle of the night. The classic response was always, "Do you know what time it is, Grand-dad? Just unplug the PC and plug it back up? This must have always worked for Dad as no more calls would be received in the middle of the night.

And now,  this new high tech technology has even spilled over into the church. What has happened to the old-fashioned leather-bound Holy Bible? All I seem to hear now bouncing off the walls of our sanctuary on Sunday morning, as the Scripture is being read from the pulpit, is those piercing iPhone clicks, apparently now out-numbering the rustling of the Bible pages. Those clicks may be cool to some, but not to us old senior saints, with the thumb indexed Bibles.

Yew, this techno-jargon does have a tendency to scramble my brain. And reading the complicated instruction manuals continue to weigh heavily on my already laden intellect. I was certain I’d never be capable of comprehending how to proceed. Facing this daunting task can often arouse the villain of doubt and cause our efforts to become less than zealous, even to the point of making this seasoned spiritually-minded saint backslide. Surrendering to defeat was a strong temptation.

Well. I guess maybe I just need to invest in some more challenging technology to confuse my already troubled mind. If only those telephone tech support fellows would speak English.

Now, while coming to my wits end I have finally learned how to conquer this guaranteed not to fail high tech monstrosity called a laptop. When it crashes, I simply unplug and plug back. In high tech terms, this maneuver is referred to as a power down. You see, I am learning.

Enough of the high-tech gobbledygook. I've said all that to simply say this: Remember when: Grown-ups seemed glamorous? You expected each day to be fun? When people said 'thank you' and "please'? When Moms called you in for supper at dusk? When you played hide-and-seek?  When you climbed trees? When downtown seemed so far away? When you caught lightning bugs in a jar? When drugstores had soda fountains? When most kids had a bike? When you had a wish for each star? When no one had pedigreed dogs? When you read comic books by the ton? When you bought penny candy? When you drank chocolate milk?

If these simple remembrances happened to bring a smile to your face in this modern day high-tech world of ours, whenever they're heard or they are told, it means you were lucky to have such good times. So dream on, my friend.

It also probably means you're growing kinda old! So I guess those days of yesterday were just not hip for our today's modern young whiz kids.  

So for now, guess I'll just push pause, say a little prayer, and click my favorite 50's music app. Its time for my morning snooze pause.

Author's Postscript

I don't suppose any of us want to return to yester-year's outdated, old-fashioned life style. So, let us consult the only true source of knowledge, our living Creator's word, which is never outdated. (II Timothy 3:16-17)

Through God's word we gain understanding that God is the One who gives the gift of knowledge. The Lord grants knowledge to those with whom He has an honest relationship. Enter, the wisest man who ever lived, King Solomon. (I Kings 3:9,10-12)

One of my favorite TV shows is the D.I.Y. network program entitled "I want that." This show has all the new-fangled gadgets known to man. And now that I have conquered the iPad, I'm ready to move up in this crazy high tech world.  This strange world often referred to as, "there's an app for that."

However, like many other seniors, there was a time that I could not have made this statement. My advice, don't throw away those English printed manuals.  And forget those tech support phone calls that will put you on hold, while they play Beethoven's 5th Symphony.

And now, with respect to my many earthly shortcomings, I'm  just waiting for my heavenly Father to look down from His heavenly throne and simply say, " their's an app for that". Amen !

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