Faith

Hiding From God

by Andrew Tuttle
06/16/18
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Remember in school - after the elementary years when seats were assigned - you'd be tempted to sit in the back of the class?

This was, of course, none other than to avoid eye contact with the teacher and prevent getting called upon. No one wants to get chosen to answer a question or provide insight into whatever the subject at hand and potentially make a fool of themselves by giving the wrong answer or just coming across awkward and silly because you didn't do the homework.  Well, except for those go-getters. Every class had them. They had all the answers. With their hands raised. Pick me, pick me. You know there's a word for people like that!

In reality, if you got “caught” hiding it really wasn't that long. Ten seconds at best but it probably felt like a few minutes as you stuttered and stammered. Maybe someone giggled. Doubtful. And I bet if you're an adult you have little to no memory of an embarrassing moment or someone else's embarrassing moment where you thank the Good Lord it wasn't you. Most likely, you had an answer or did a pretty darn good job of providing one.

I remember in one class the teacher would call on a student to open or close in prayer. (Christian school, people.) I hated that. Basically this equated to spontaneous public speaking. So, when the teacher mentioned praying, I quickly bowed my head as if I were a step ahead and was already praying. No way he'd interrupt someone in the middle of praying, right? I think it worked. But like I said, I can't say for sure and if I did bumble through a prayer or two I don't remember, no one else does and I certainly don't recall any moments from the others assigned to talk to God.

At any rate, teachers were wise to this not so new “trick” of hiding in the back and eventually the uneducated students got wise themselves and instead of hiding in the back, they found a new place to hide  - in between staring face-to-face with the teacher and giving up their modus operandi.

The middle! Preferably behind someone the same height or, even better, taller. Now you could still hide but look like you were interested in attending class and learning. Thing is, a good teacher calls on everyone.

And so does, God.

But when God calls, it's usually not to see if you actually did your homework.

In many respects, like the teacher in the classroom,  I'd prefer God not to call on me. Leave me out of it, find someone else, please. Get somebody more equipped. Somebody who really did do their homework. How about one of those go-getters? Such great people, they are!

An associate pastor of my wife's former church got called upon in a big way. Make that a life changing way. His 15 year old daughter  was diagnosed with a  form of degenerative heart disease and eventually would need a new heart. Time was up shortly after the diagnosis.

This pastor performed CPR on his own daughter for 10 minutes before rescue crews arrived.  And so began a roller coaster ride teetering on the edge of death, a number of miracles and “what the heck is God doing?” that lasted a month. The pastor updated followers nightly on a facebook page and brilliantly used the platform as a daily sermon. His family's plight gained international attention and finally, finally!! a heart was found. In many respects, at the 11th hour with seconds to spare.

The turmoil ended  the day after one of the daughter's doctors told her father, “let go.”

When following the journey in real time, you couldn't help get washed away in emotion. And though their daughter survived their lives are forever changed. As an outsider who prayed, I had this feeling God would spare her. He did. But I also wondered how I would react in similar circumstances. Probably, not good.

Perhaps that's why God doesn't call on me.

No, I don't want to be called. Life is hard enough as is, don't give me an extra assignment. But admittedly, I wonder sometimes why God hasn't called. And perhaps when this life is over I'll wish He had called on me more and asked me tougher questions and piled on the homework.

Say what?

Certainly, I've been called at one time or another. I've handled death and layoffs. Family issues and bad decisions.  Doesn't everybody? But hardly the life and death drama of a daughter who needs a new heart. I doubt if this ends their story, too. A heart transplant isn't exactly Lasik eye surgery.

Most of my plights probably land somewhere around tame compared to most others. I don't like the valleys of life, even the small ones, and often I shake my fist at God. Why me?! In hind site, it's probably more my reaction to the calling then the actual assignment. Well, maybe not. That punch in the gut feeling means something, right? Are you serious, I say. Please take this cup from me.

God says he won't throw anything your way He doesn't feel you can handle. I don't think I could handle what the pastor endured. Well, at least not as graciously as the pastor. Could you? But maybe the pastor probably would have said something similar before his ordeal started. Then again, based on his nightly sermons, he'd have smiled and nodded, “Hey, whatever God's Will.”

Because he has faith. And, a lot of it.

And if I had that much faith, I'd tell God “Bring it.”

Until then, I'll take a no-thank you helping.