Christian Living

The Giving Lesson

by Andrew Tuttle
06/07/18
For Sale
Author requests article critique

  Message Writer
  Hire Writer

Tweet

Some time ago I attended a concert of a well-known musician.

I do have a hobby, if you will, of attending live shows and I recognize how blessed I am to afford tickets. If you haven’t purchased concert tickets of late, Ticketmaster tacks on what equates to a 30 percent tax on the price of the ticket – what with the “convenience” fee, “order” fee and a few others. A ticket that’s affordable quickly turns into an evening at Ruth’s Chris Steak House.

I had two tickets – front row but upper level – and a friend of mine had three tickets – Row 2. Yes, that Row 2. As it turned out he was unable to use his and offered me his “fan club” purchased tickets. The seats were not only better but offered me what could possibly be a once in a lifetime opportunity. They also cost a heck of a lot more. Surely I could sell my two, which were actually decent seats, to offset the cost of the better tickets. And now my wife could go with the third ticket.

I bought the better tickets and posted mine on a ticket exchange website. Another friend, who was attending with me, posted on Craigslist for me. My tickets were among what felt like hundreds for sale.

After a few weeks it seemed clear that selling them for even half what I posted (I simply wanted what I paid) was unlikely. Perhaps I could give them away to someone deserving and who couldn’t afford to go.

As it turns out one of the pastors at my church indeed was a fan of the musician. I couldn’t think of a better person to give them to. He unfortunately was teaching the night of the show and since I inquired about someone else who might enjoy going he suggested another church employee. I emailed him. Turns out he was attending a different concert the same night. He then suggested one of the volunteer guitar players in the church worship band who apparently was a BIG fan.

So I emailed this guy. Fifteen maybe 20 minutes later he responded. Now, I did not start my initial email to him saying I have free tickets. I simply asked if he was going. His response was a bit intriguing considering a complete stranger sent him an email asking him if he was going. He said he had checked around for tickets but it was too expensive.

His reply could have been a result of him simply thinking I was looking for tickets as someone told him he was a fan and might be going. Or the church employee who referred me gave him a “heads up” on why I was reaching out, or maybe he just meant it and was being honest. Regardless, I replied and told him I had two tickets I’d be happy to give to him. He seemed ecstatic. Asked if there was anything he could do for me, thanked me, and we agreed to meet after church service the following Sunday for me to hand them over.

The show was great.

Now, if it were me, I, the next day, would have sent another message telling the giver how much I enjoyed the show and thanked him or her again.

But that’s just me. Anyway, I didn’t really think much of it until a week went by.

Hmmm, I wonder if he liked the show? Did he even go? See this is why I would have sent a follow-up thanks. Sounds like a "Seinfeld" episode. Sounds exactly like a "Seinfeld" episode.

I dwelled on it. So I sent an email asking him how he enjoyed the concert, did he hear all the songs he wanted to hear, how were the seats, etc.? He responded so quickly before...

Crickets.

The first thing my wife told me when I mentioned his non-response was, “I knew this was going to happen.” Meaning, I can’t let go of things and I expect too much from people – especially Christians. She absolutely agreed with me he should have emailed the next day and for sure should have responded to my email. But I’ve got to learn to let these things go.

He could very well have had a good reason for not responding. Yes it is possible he didn’t get the email. Somehow he got the first email and he responded rather quickly though. Did he just not go? Maybe he was sick. His wife was sick. Maybe, by responding, he thought I was then going to ask him for a favor, something he didn’t want to do, so by not responding he wasn’t getting set-up. Seriously who gives away $200 concert tickets?

I have no idea if this guy went to the show or why he didn’t respond to my email and it started to bother me.

The following Sunday as I mad-dogged him from my seat in church and he played his guitar on stage it then occurred to me – What lesson can I learn from this?

1. Did I have an ulterior motive?

Truly when I passed them off I felt relieved in not worrying about selling them. But I also felt the way anybody feels after giving. It felt good to give them to someone who I thought would enjoy going. If I can share my joy in attending a concert with someone else who likes concerts – Awesome. Jesus is so correct when he says, “It is better to give then to receive. “

But was my heart not fully into this? If I give something to someone, ultimately it’s now theirs and they can do as they wish, and I need to walk away. Right?

This reminds of an “Everybody Love Raymond” episode when Ray and Debra give Ray’s brother Robert $1000 to help pay off debt. Instead, Robert books a trip to Las Vegas. Robert’s excuse is he’s always going to have debt and he’ll never have money to plan a vacation. Besides, Ray and Debra never specifically said the money was to be used for debt only. Though it clearly was implied.

2. Was this a stepping stone to learn how to “let go.”

Cleary I have issues of letting go perceived wrongs. Much of my writings include my rants and raves. And I am now writing about this. In my defense my effort here is to help others and also hear from others. The cost of the tickets, $200, isn’t a bank breaker. But it’s still a lot of money. Could this be the first step, a relatively easy one, in learning how to simply let things go?

3. When giving, give with all my heart

Piggybacking on #1, perhaps I didn’t have an ulterior motive, however to truly give something to someone, requires me to be content with what I give and think no more of it. See if I truly lived a life as a believer instead of as an atheist which we all do from time to time, I’d know that God knows what I did and if that guy took the tickets with his own ulterior motive then let God deal with it. If the God of the Bible truly exists then live and act like it.

A point made in the sermon on that that mad-dogging Sunday was to “live generously and courageously like Jesus.”

4. There’s jerks in the world – even Christians

I’ve written about the screw job I’ve received in my past from Christians. It hurts more when it comes from others who claim to believe as you do. The chances are I’ve done something similar maybe even worse to others. Though I truly try to treat others as I would have them treat me, I am sure there are times I probably haven’t.

Maybe this guy saw the email, meant to get back to me and later forgot. Totally legitimate. I get it. Maybe he didn’t go and didn’t want to respond with a lie and felt better simply by not responding. Maybe he saw a golden opportunity to make some money by receiving free tickets to a popular concert and he sold them.

Whatever the reason there’s not much I can do about it now, is there? Unless I heed #3.

5. All of the Above

If I had to choose I’d pick #5. Recognizing my true giving heart and understanding that even Jesus didn’t get a whole lot of thanks for all he did during his short three-years of ministry should also help me manage others who don’t treat me with the same respect and let go of those insults. Remember how Jesus often told people he healed to tell no one, and they always did anyway? He never took back His miracle of healing.

I’ve thought about approaching that guy after church. Not to accost him, simply to follow-up and say “Hey I emailed you. Did you like the show?” Just to see how he responds. But I won’t. I’m not one to confront and really I should just let it go.

Ironically, a few days after I gave the tickets away, someone from Craigslist emailed wanting the tickets.