Encouragement

SO YOU'RE GAY, NOW WHAT?

by Christian Belyea
03/20/18
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So, You’re Gay, Now What?

By

Christian Belyea

     Is it the gay lifestyle?

     Or is it the gay deathstyle?

     Either way, such an existence is killing countless men and women!

     By “gay,” I don’t mean sodomites; that is, perverse men who get down and dirty with other men simply because it is forbidden fruit, and they want to flout God.  No.  By “gay,” I mean men—and women—who never chose to have a gay orientation; it just happened.  Some say it has to do with genetics, that the seed of sexual maladjustment was passed on to them by an ancestor.  Others say sociological factors conspired against them—when they were in their formative years—that consigned them to their agonizing affliction.  Factors such as not bonding with their same-sex parent when they were children, and hence going on to subconsciously sexualize that unmet need when they came into their sexuality.  While still others say, folks become gay because they were molested and are now confused adults acting out…only doing what they know.

     Whatever the case, God still holds gay people accountable for their sexual practices—not their orientation.  And there is a difference between orientation and behavior.  It is not a sin to have a sexual temptation.  It becomes a sin only when we act on that temptation.  And when we do, we dishonor God, ourselves, and the one with whom we sinned. 

     Sadly, many believers think that homosexuality is the worst sin ever, and that if stoning were still the norm, they’d be the first ones believers would aim their slingshots at.  But if being gay is the worst sin imaginable, then why did God command the ancient Israelites to stone even disobedient sons and daughters (Deuteronomy 21:18-21)?  Or why did God decree a death sentence by stoning on false witnesses, or liars (Deuteronomy 19:15-21)?  I mean, who of us hasn’t sinned?   And whatever happened to love thy neighbor as thyself?  And what about love the sinner, just not the sin?

     God does so love gay people—that is, the unfortunate fellow or gal who never had a say in the matter.  For God is love (1 John 4:8).  I mean, who in his or her right mind would say, “When I grow up, I want to be gay,” anyway?  Being gay has to be one of the hardest rows to hoe in this harried world so full of hatred toward anyone who is different.  Gay people experience more confusion, frustration, and gut-wrenching rejection that it reduces them to tears many times when they are alone.  They also feel certain that God hates them for something they had no say in the matter of.  Oh, if they only knew how desperately Jesus just wants to enfold them in His loving arms and brush those tears away, they’d go to Him.

     And no, they cannot simply just pray the gay away once they become born-again.  It’s been tried, and it’s been tossed aside as unattainable as many “ex-gay” ministries now attest.  It seems God doesn’t seem to care what a person’s orientation is, just so long as he or she doesn’t act on it outside the sanctity of heterosexual marriage.  What our loving Father says to gay people, He says to so-called “straight” people also: Don’t sin sexually!  And sadly, when gay people do give in to their deviant desires, they can get a lot more than they bargained for: AIDs, syphilis, herpes—you name it.  Hence, another reason God warns us to avoid sexual immorality—to protect us from falling victim to vile diseases such as these.

     So yeah…God loves gay people, too.  How do I know that?  Well…I am one of those unfortunates who was molested as a child, didn’t bond with my daddy, subconsciously sexualized those unmet needs, and lived a life as a male prostitute and full-time whore…a woeful existence full of heartache and endless quests for Mr. Right.  Only he wasn’t out there because it was wrong, Wrong, WRONG!!!

     And God had mercy on me.  Compassion.  High hopes to make me into a man of God.

     In exchange for His acceptance, I quit fooling around and have been a celibate for about 25 years now.  And God has blessed me bountifully for my abstinence. But I couldn’t have done it without God’s help.  Praise the LORD!!!

     No, He didn’t condemn me.  He called me, didn’t He?  And then, He showed me grace, acceptance, and vast understanding.  He knew that me being gay was not a choice on my part.  And no, He didn’t answer that prayer when I, too, tried to pray the gay away.  You see, believe it or not, God even uses handicaps like struggling with homosexuality to hone a person’s character to become more like Christ.  And speaking of Christ, do you not believe the Bible when it says Christ was tempted by every sin man has been tempted with (and that includes homosexual temptation), and yet was without sin (Hebrews 4:15)?  So, Christ understands.  He really does.

     Anyway, being gay at first made me mad.  And when I gave myself over to it, it seemed to make me feel glad.  Then when I got born again, it made me feel sad.  But ever since I buckled down and obeyed God, by abstaining, being gay to me just means what it’s original definition was: happy, bubbly, lively—all of which I am.  And God likes who I am.  So do I.  Yes, I am comfortable in my own skin because I know God honors me and accepts me—warts and all.  I know I’m not perfect, but who is?  Yet still…God has made me into a righteous dude through my 25 years of celibacy.  And God has blessed me countless times for persevering through sexual temptations.  Why, God practically dotes on me!

     So, if you are a believer who is struggling with same-sex attractions, take heart, my walking wounded friend.  You are not alone.  God loves you.  Terribly.  And He wants to help you through it.  No, He doesn’t hate you and wish you were dead, as so many misguided believers feel.  He wants to chisel your character to become more like Christ through your struggles.  So, don’t be sad; be glad.  And get a life.  Better yet, get an afterlife, too—in Christ!  He’s the One who will pull you through all this.  I know…  He has faithfully stood by me through many slips in the early years, and never gave up on me once, just as He promised in Hebrews 13:5: “I will never leave you, nor forsake you.”

     Now, I’m not saying this will be easy.  It will cost you, my world-weary friend.  It will frustrate you at times.  And sometimes you’ll even cry.  But God will reward you for your submission to abstain in so many countless ways.  So, stop trying to pray the gay away.  It won’t work.  God doesn’t care who you are attracted to; all He cares about is your purity.  So, come clean with God, accept your lot in life (and we all have one), and sacrifice your bod to God (Romans 12:1)!