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You Slipped Away
Janice S Ramkissoon
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I shared this piece with my Facebook friends in November 2016. I'm now sharing it here to assist with the process of healing for anyone grieving today. Although written with the intention of bringing healing to those who have had to endure a miscarriage or stillbirth, I pray that it will be an encouragement regardless of the loss being faced today.
Inspired by the loss of baby Jerome
My precious little one, you skipped a lifetime and slipped into eternity. You slipped away.
You didn't get to experience life on earth but now I understand the purpose for which you came: You came to renew my hope before I slipped away.
Your presence brought joy. Overwhelming joy filled my heart, helping me find my way back to life. You came to help with the renewing of my faith: reminding me not to lose hope. Then you slipped away.
Through the hurt and pain I understood that God was and is always with me, working it all out--He did not leave me and will never forsake me (Hebrews 13:5). You came to remind me and I remembered before you slipped away.
God delights in His children and though you came in answer to my prayers, I still understand that He gives and He takes away (Job 1:21). From the beginning, He knew that you would have slipped away.
His thoughts are higher than mine (Isaiah 55:8) so I chose not to question why He called you home. I simply continue to trust His judgement for He knows the plans He has for me: plans to prosper and not to harm me and plans to give me hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). I choose to consciously walk into the prosperity of that future even though you slipped away.
Your presence in my life was brief yet so powerful. You came to help remove the scales from my eyes and the clouds from my view before you slipped away.
The beauty of the stars have been revealed, helping me to see clearly, the toxic waste destroying me. Now I thank God for sending you to start the process of cleansing, although you slipped away.
You came to bring healing to my brokenness...to remind me that there is life after death...light at the end of the tunnel and love to heal the heart that aches. For that process to take place, you had to slip away.
Upon your departure a dark cloud lingered. Your father, your big brother and I were looking forward to meeting you. We were longing to hold you, count your tiny toes, kiss your cheeks, read stories and sing songs to you. But you slipped away.
We looked forward to watching you grow, to nurturing you, feeding you, drying your tears, teaching you, meeting your friends and simply delighting in you. Nevertheless you slipped away.
A brief moment we've shared but you've helped me to close the door to fear and walk boldly through the open door of love—the light guiding me to where I can see the celebration feast awaiting me as I choose life and watch the dark clouds slip away.
I will never forget you, my precious little one. You died to restore life and re-present the resurrection story with simplicity. You came that I might live. Your work is done. You've skipped a lifetime and slipped into eternity.
You slipped away.
Copyright J. S. Ramkissoon 2016.
This poem was written to commemorate baby Jerome’s first birthday but I wasn’t ready to share my feelings on the miscarriage. Baby Jerome’s heart stopped beating in the womb. His brother wept uncontrollably for hours after receiving the news. My friend, Gail, was passing by that afternoon and was able to help with comforting him. It took the family workers at his school working alongside him for the rest of the term which was approximately 1 month to help him come to terms with it including keeping him in the chess competition he wanted to drop out of. He went on to win the championship and dedicated it to the baby. He later asked to name the baby Jerome and we agreed.
The subsequent miscarriage was delayed and in those weeks of waiting I prayed for, and hoped for a miracle of life. That prayer was answered but not in the way I expected it. I have a renewed outlook on life. My heart has been renewed. Jerome was due to be born in January 2014. I wrote this piece in 2015 but only felt ready to share it today 15th November 2016.
In sharing, my desire is that it will help other families who have lost a baby, confront their loss and begin a process of healing. For those who have miscarried and just carried on without acknowledging the loss, I pray this will help with the grieving process so that you can move forward with a healthier outlook on life. Let the healing begin.
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