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A Great Resume or a Great Relationship

by Honey Stone
07/29/17
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I once dated a guy who had a great resume. He was ruggedly handsome (in my opinion); a leader in the church – even good friends with the Pastor; an entrepreneur in an established business; a good dresser (a rarity for men in the Mid-west), and he even seemed quite relational. If you want to add icing to the cake, a friend prophesied that we were to be together. This seemed like a dream come true. As the songs goes: At Last My Love has Come Along…(insert Etta James song). 

But as we were dating, one by one, key people came up to me asking me why I was dating him. The first was a much older man who I became platonic friends with. He didn’t even know me but said, “He’s not good for you…” Next, my discerning friend, Dawn, came onto the scene and said, “What!” One mature leader in our Alpha group wouldn’t even acknowledge that we were dating. One of the elders saw us together and seemed to be stifling a laugh. 

I’m an artist and a prophetic vessel. Rarely do I look outside from my inner chamber for validation. I don’t give much heed to the general consensus of the blind masses. As Brene Brown says, “If you are not in the arena getting your ars kicked, I am not interested in your feedback.” But the people who came forward with words of warning were people in the real battle and had wisdom. These were not the unhealed or the heathen. Add onto that I received a God-sent dream. 

The symbolism in the Divine dream suggested that the guy I was dating had about as much spiritual depth as a bag of Doritos. Doritos are symbolic of the junkiest of junk food. They are essentially un-food a.k.a. genetically processed food. Those yellow triangles have a ton of artificial colors and fake flavors that are intentionally engineered to be addictive. 

I don’t blame the guy for fooling me. When I asked God if we could date, I heard laughter which I mistakenly thought was a positive sign. Well, maybe that’s how I wanted to interpret it. It turns out that it was a ridiculous match. As a Christian, he was a minimalist and that made us unequally yoked. He didn't have a personal relationship with God. It took about three months and a steady stream of warnings for me to see that it had to end. 

In the dream, there was a white (alabaster) box that I opened and then heard the voice of God say, “I love you.” That scene revealed that the moment I truly stop focusing on this Mr. Perfect Resume and started really focusing on God than he would come back. I’m not sure why I was shocked when Mr. Perfect Resume actually did return but when he came back I said to God, “He ain’t all that and a bag of chips.” That’s when the part of the dream dropped into my mind where I am pouring Doritos over his head as if I was the prophet (prophetic vessel) anointing a king (leader). 

After the door was closed on that relationship, I got involved in a sphere of ministry that was beyond normal Christianity - even past normal prophetic ministry. Most people who aspire toward prophetic ministry think the ideal is to give personal prophetic words at a church. That sounds like the epitome of the revelation spectrum but it is just the tip of the iceberg. 

From that point on, I was ruined from ever doing conventional ministry. God had personally taught me how to evangelize throughout my daily life. Even the regular governmental intercessory groups did not appeal to me anymore because my personal prayer assignments were strikingly different. I became involved in unusual prophetic-apostolic adventures. Plus, I was experimenting with different forms of the prophetic arts. You could say that I wasn’t that involved in the more visible spectrum of ministry. 

When Mr. Perfect Resume came back I realized how kind it was of God to yank me out of that mess; show me a whole new world, and then give me a chance to take a second look at what I cried about giving up. Let me stress, this man isn’t ‘less than’ but rather we were not equal spiritually speaking. He got married about a year after our break-up. 

I’ve been in the dating scene. I was once part of a dating service. I even get messages from business men who follow me on Twitter who like my photo. I think, “Yes, I know that if I dyed my hair blonde, became a size 6 again, and smiled every minute of the day that I would be a man magnet.” Well, in reality the creeps would come out of the woodwork and women would be on alert as well. Let's get honest. 

But I have a philosophy and it is this: There three ways to be interested in a potential mate. You can like him, love him, and have desire for him. I want three out of three in the man I marry. Many settle for one or two. 

What is the point of having a desire for someone who, at the same time, you want to throw dishes at them? Hollywood teaches us that desire is the only way. But I also want a best friend and I want a Sunday Kind of Love…(insert that Etta James song). Someone who knows how to love has the quality of being consistently gentle and kind. Yeah, we all want even a Saturday kind of love as well – you know with passion. 

I actually do have all three. Jesus is my friend. Our song is What a Friend We Have in Jesus. The Father’s love is consistently good, gentle, and kind toward me. Our song is Good Good Father. The Holy Spirit is the one I am passionate about. There are many worldly and Christian songs that I could place in here. And that’s how I see it. 

Mr. Perfect Resume had great paper credentials but he was not consistently kind. Also, he had massive father wounds - at that time - that limited his ability to be vulnerable. This blocked his intimacy with God and with me. I told him that it was unfair that he had ten times the father issues that I had but I deserved someone who worked through their issues just as I had. 

I couldn’t label Mr. Perfect Resume as a friend either. Friends actually enjoy being around each other. Confidants laugh, listen, share and care. 

All we had was passion, and if that’s all you have than the ending will be much like Marianne’s with John’s in Sense and Sensibility.  It leads to a big heart crash. The book is actually much more complex and you can interpret it in different ways but let’s just say that the passion part ruled in this relationship. As much as I love Jane Austen, I dislike that book because I was just a little too raw emotionally while reading it. The relationship ending for Marianne was positive and with a much more compatible match but still… 

When I let go of that relationship, God held out the golden scepter. It turned into a season of identifying with Esther. When my beauty was based on God seeing me as an Esther my insecurity about my looks transformed. I don’t compare myself to other women anymore. 

All of the women who were selected to possibly be chosen as queen went through the same beauty treatment. But Esther won the King’s (symbolic of God) heart because she listened to Hegai’s (symbolic of the Holy Spirit) extra beauty suggestions and to Mordecai’s (symbolic of Jesus) direction for sacrificing herself. And that’s how an Esther (symbolic of an deeply intimate Christian) can bring friendship, heart love, and romance into the trinity relationship. When you think of the Matthew 22:14 scripture that says: many are called but few are chosen, these are the spiritual Esthers.