Family

Discovery and Productivity of our Spouses

by Bolaji O.Timothy
06/25/17
Not For Sale
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Spending many years and still would not discover the strength, weakness, treasures, opportunity, beauty and grace of one’s spouse is one of the disasters facing many homes in our generation full of assumption and pretence. Quite number of people have been deceived and misdirected, most especially when couples have the same uniform of dresses and vocabulary, but in reality millions miles away from each other in their minds
The subject of discussion will better be presented if we adhere to the presentation in Genesis 4:1 by King James Version, new King James Version and amplified bible. This is necessary because of the word “knew” used in these versions. Adam knew eve his wife and she conceived and bare Cain “. The general meaning often given to this verse by many of us and some version of the scripture is sexual knowledge of Eve by Adam, which evidently produced Cain, Abel and Seith (Genesis 4:1-3, 5;10 )and probably other female children (Gen. 5:7)
A critical issue was raised by the Holy spirit upon this verse which is not strange to me, however, the important focus was actually strange until now while I ponder on our wedding anniversary.  This couple with cases of some couples seen, heard and read about  with longer years of marriage (10,15,20,25, and 30)  still seriously confronted with varieties of issues and conflicts. These issues upon analysis gave some fundamental indication that these ones  leaving together under the same roof are unfortunate strangers, though blessed with children. The various issues, most of which are minor, were manipulated, exaggerated or converted to serious problems and confusion in those various home. This implies they had or are having sexual knowledge of each other but cannot relate intimately in their minds and words
It now become clear that sexual intimacy is a necessary physical relationship between a couple for the pleasure and productivity of children, but does not implies that these parties have been fully discovered in all the possible departments of thier individual lives as should  have been, which can be  aided by sexual intimacy.  If not , there should or would not have been divorcé threat , proposal and cases after carnal knowledge popularly called “ making love” which may have resulted into one , two, three or more children; yet not strong enough to prevent the move against separation and divorce.
We were seriously disturbed specifically by few couple who have almost attained the stage of Grandparent but are seriously disconnected despite having grown up children, threatening divorce with full commitment. We persuaded against this, but the truth of the matter is they were long disconnected and lost each other trust. They are not willing and determined to commence the process of discovery for productivity in that home.
The process of success, progress and productivity in the home is seriously connected to the knowledge of the treasures in that home: the man, woman and children must first be accepted as indispensable and great treasures waiting for full discovery. The knowledge precedes conception and subsequently lead to birth (productivity). The productivity of each member in the home is dependent on the full discovery of the man and woman. When and where this is achieved, it will be easy for potential, strength and treasures within us to succeed in appropriates intimate intercourse with each other and conceptions of various possibilities follows. This subsequently leads to birth of wonders. Marriage of a man and woman is a great opportunity  and capable of  connecting varieties of pleasant possibilities. This is only possible with proper discoveries. “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-12.
In Deuteronomy 32:30, the power of a discovered and united couple in the hand of Rock of ages could be drawn from this verse
There are emotional, intellectual, talent and many other departments of every individual. Marital relationship is expected to explore every area and make major discoveries of all their treasures, strength and convert them all, to testimonies.
The process of knowing
It is important we attempt to study the journey of Adam’s discovery of his wife! God introduced her to Adam, according to God and his work on her (Gen 2:22). She was the best fitted being and treasure Adam needed and should have to complete him (to take care of his deficiency). Adam named her (Eve). One of the interpretations given to this name is “A man from God”. A lot of things were wrong in this.  She was not a man! If she remains this in Adam’s thinking, there was no way she could complete him. If Eve also thought of herself as a man, rivalry may set in; she would not face her responsibility well. The truth is, she unique and intended for a wonderful purpose. She was make up for the deficiency in him, without her Adam can never near fulfilment!. She was and must be seen as the wonder brought out of him for him (wo-man) to fulfil a specific purpose of completion.
It is also important that she should also know her husband. They both have roles and responsibilities and assignment. It appears she did not know, couple with her husband ignorance, this gave birth to several assumption and manifestation of ignorance in their homes, this was a possible reflection in Gen 3:1.
The process of knowing our spouse in a marriage relationship is better earlier, however, it is better late than never attempted or achieved at all. It should be noted that it is a continuous process and necessity. Applying the word “Know”

K- knowledge, N- name, O opportunity and W-Worth

Knowledge
It is important to have the knowledge of the treasure (husband or wife), the history, country content, connections (relative, networks of friends, concerns, consciousness, contaminations, companions, company (jobs, works, trade). All these will determine minor and major constitutions of his or her cultures and content of her mind and possible contributions at home.

Name
He or she must have a name (past) and must be re-named (present and future). Abraham( past , Abraham( present and future) Sarai( past) Sarah (present and future). The name you gave to your spouse in your mind determines your treatment, reactions and expectations. If he or she is wrongly named, your treatment for and expectation from her or him will be wrong. It is important that you know that your input in your spouse determine his or her output.

Opportunity
Every one of us is a potential opportunity. It is important we discover this and explore each other optimistically and lovingly for the collections of goods and grace for our homes. When God brought Eve, the potentials, promises and pronouncement of fruitfulness , multiplications and replenishing the earth was established (Genesis 1 :28). This is impossible in the absence of anyone of them.  They must yield contribution of their potentials to fulfil this and God’s blessing becomes a reality

Worth
It is important for a man to discover the worth of a wife and the woman must discover the worth of her husband. It is resident in all of us. This worth is not negative and it values upon proper attention can be greatly increased. It is important for a man to allow his wife to discover the husband and father in him and likewise the woman should allow her husband to discover the wife and mother in her. It is critical. The discoveries of the worth in another person should be predicated on self discovery, else you may give wrong indication. It will be difficult to know or achieve conceptions of great possibilities in our homes if these are ignored: (SOAPP) S- Submission, O-
Openness, A- Access, P-Patience AND P- Positioning.

Submission- submission is a very important posture that is necessary for conception and reproduction. In this case, there must be selfless contact, release and attention and participation of husband and wife in all areas of their lives and affairs.

Openness- This couple who really dream of great possibilities must consistently relate with each other in openness. They were both naked and were not ashamed. It is difficult to have knowledge of what is programmed, secretive and hidden. The process to great possibilities between husband and wide is well lubricated if they are open to each other. It will aid necessary attractions and closeness needed for blessed productivity.

Access
Both husband and wife must grant free and unrestricted access to each other lives. If truly they dream greater possibilities in their home. This is not expected to be unduly taken advantage off. The possibilities of conceptions is greatly dependent on granted access. It must be mutual and not one sided to yield result.

Patience
The journey to knowing each other in all areas of life is patient process. Quality time and positive emotion must be invested. It certainly will need resources and ability to forgive and constantly renew commitment and trust in each other. Patience is a virtue necessary in building a home. Patience has components of faith, hope and trust.

Positioning
It is important to know that proper positioning of ourselves for possibilities matters. It may require learning new things, re-adjusting efforts, for possibilities and enduring necessary and temporary inconvenience, in order to reposition our self and home for effective productivity.

Marriage is a lot of work for those who really want to generate unlimited pleasant possibilities from it and worth all the necessary attentions. Penetrating to  the depth of an individual spouses’ character and treasure , cultivating the inner most of him or her to make necessary impact  and influence capable of resulting into blissful possibilities is a worth venture for the purpose of fulfilling the purpose of the home. it will require  submission, openness,  access , patience and a positioning aright.