Christian Living

CONQUERING PONOGRAPHY AND MASTURBATION

by Emmanuel Ude
03/04/17
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CONFRONTING AND CONQUERING THE SPIRITUAL CANKERS OF PORNOGRAPHY AND MASTURBATION AMONG YOUTHS

Eph. 4: 17-19; James 1: 14-17

Pornography and Masturbation have assumed a disturbing dimension in the society and is steadily gaining a strangle hold in Christian circles especially among Christian teenage and adolescent boys. This disturbing reality is more worrisome because many believe the scripture does not out rightly condemn the practice of both.

Preachers have taught against “Pornography” and “Masturbation” but have not identified the sin from the word of God. So, what does Gods word teach on these sins and why are they so harmful to the soul?

The KJV uses the term LASCIVIOUSNESS to describe these sins (Mk. 7:22; 2 Corinth. 12: 21; Gal. 5: 19; Eph. 4: 19; 1 Peter 4: 3; Jude 4). This is an archaic word for “unbridled expression of sexual urges.” The words PORNOGRAPHY and MASTURBATION are modern terms originating from our modern world. Obviously, then, they would not be found in the scriptures. But the Bible makes reference to them.

Sexual immorality or sin (including Pornography and Masturbation) covers a broad range of sinful practices in the Bible, none of which is what God originally intended for man. However, one cannot conquer or overcome what he fears to confront. Neither can he confront what he does not intend to overcome. Both must go in Pari Passu.

1. 1.      PORNOGRAPHY AND MASTURBATION: THE TRUE PICTURE

Romans 1: 21, 22, 24, 26, 28

PORNOGRAPHY:

• Printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate sexual excitement


• Movies, pictures, magazines etc that show or describe naked people or sex in a very open and direct way in order to cause sexual excitement.


• The description of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction.


• Pornography is portrayal of sexual subject matter for the purpose of sexually arousing or satisfying a person, and it comes in the form of magazines, movies, videos and more.

The modern word pornography comes from the ancient Greek word porne [por-nay], a noun used to refer to a prostitute (Lk.15: 30; 1 Corinth. 6:15). It was the root of the Greek word for sexual immorality; pornos.

Pornography is a sin designed to draw people away from God, entrapping them in the slavery of their own desires (James 1: 14-17). Over time it becomes addictive and intensify, drawing its victims into deeper depths of depravity.

MASTURBATION:

• It is commonly defined as touching one’s own body, including sex organs for sexual pleasure.


• According to Gary R. Collins, a Christian psychologist, “It is the self-stimulation of one’s genitals (sex organs) to the point of orgasm.”

Masturbation is a subject of great confusion and conflict among young people and a subject of much debate and disagreement among Christians. Some condemn it as sin while others say it is “not much of an issue with God.” However, the Bible strongly condemns it, no matter the stand or conviction of any individual or group of individuals on it.

WHAT LEADS TO PORNOGRAPHY AND MASTURBATION AMONG ADOLESCENTS:

(a). CURIOSITY: Humans are naturally curious creatures especially on sexual matters. Young people experience this kind of curiosity more. (b). CARNALITY:  Where there is a craving desire to satisfy the flesh. The Flesh is said to be a mind-set that is based on the senses (eyes, mouth etc.). (c). CULTURE: Whatever becomes a prevalent behaviour among young peer groups becomes an acceptable lifestyle for all others. Pornography and masturbation is fast becoming a way of life for many. (d). CHANGE in Physiology: Adolescence is a time of great physical or emotional change in a person’s life. The change ALL adolescents encounter often surprise and confuse them, and they are often ill-equipped to understand and cope with them. Consequently, they experiment with their bodies to arouse or satisfy their sexual desires.

Apart from these, the power and influence of pornography and masturbation manifests in the following ways: (a). it is Progressive: From mere fantasy and excitement, porn and masturbation often degenerate into deeper pervasion. (b). it is Addictive: Its progressiveness results in the victim getting hooked and becoming helpless. He soon gets aroused at the slightest instance. (c). it is Secretive: It is seen as a hidden work of darkness. It thrives in secrecy. (d). it is Objective: Its aim is to satisfy a craving desire or lust. Hence, its actions are intended to accomplish this purpose or goal. (e). it is Seductive: Like prostitutes, porn and masturbation have subtle influence on its victims that cause them to yield again and again. (f). it is Corrosive: Causes damage to one’s spiritual standing and eats away the grace of God in the individual. (g). it is Destructive: Addicts of porn and masturbation are doomed for destruction in the lake of fire.

1. 2.      CONSEQUENSES OF PORNOGRAPHY AND MASTURBATION

Romans 1: 28

Pornography and Masturbation have far reaching consequences that touch on the psychological, social, emotional, physical as well as spiritual life of the individual. To gain victory and overcome these cankers, it is good to know some of these consequences if one is involved in them and to immediately seek help from them.

They include the following:

• Feelings of Guilt and self-condemnation: One of the most horrible consequences of pornography and masturbation is that most people who engage in it experience feelings of guilt and self-condemnation on a regular basis, which is also an indication to us that it is not natural.


•  Constant fear of being discovered.


• Loss of life focus: Adolescents who masturbate or look into pornographic images tend to think about it most of the time. A man’s thoughts are supposed to be predominantly about his life’s goals, missions and purposes. When this is not so, then there is a loss of control.


• Feelings of inferiority complex: They tend to think that they are not normal and in some cases they think they are the only ones suffering from this addiction.


• Unhealthy sexual fantasies: Most people who are involved in masturbation cannot really do without fantasizing. This process of fantasizing could be so pervasive in the mind. This becomes a problem in marriage when a married man is sleeping with his wife yet in his fantasies he is actually not seeing his wife but other women.


• The flesh is insatiable: People involved in masturbation sooner or later discover that the hunger for sexual satisfaction is insatiable. Hence the process of seeking for pleasure always lands such an individual in the most sordid practices of sexual pervasion including soliciting the services of prostitutes.


• Masturbation could lead to sexual fetishism: This is when young men go about stealing ladies underwear or getting close to women private belongings so as to use them as an act of sexual gratification. It is a form of addiction.


• Masturbation leads to horrible sexual pervasion: People who start out with masturbation have been found to be caught in rape, sex with animals, sadism, sadomasochism and other unthinkable pervasion. This is because the flesh can never be satisfied. The fantasy and the pursuit of sexual satisfaction is endless.


• Masturbation leads to prostrate related diseases: Most people who are actively involved in masturbation get complications in their later years, because of different complications they have with their health after the age of 40. It might not necessarily lead to prostate cancer for everybody, but it gives enough health concerns to be worried.


• Selfishness and egocentrism in marriage: A person that is used to satisfying himself sexually through pornography or masturbation continues to do that even after he is married. The wife will be constantly dissatisfied because the husband is not used to satisfying others but himself.


• Premature ejaculation: One of the main problems in marriage for people who have been involved in masturbation is premature ejaculation, which could lead to complications in the marriage relationship.


• Erectile dysfunction: When someone engages in masturbation long enough, it gets to a point when you don’t really need erection to ejaculate and ones a man ejaculates he is satisfied but in marriage this becomes a problem, because erection is necessary to satisfy a partner sexually. It is also necessary for reproduction.


• Depression and gloominess: Pornography and Masturbation often results in feelings of depression and gloominess. Most people who are involved in them become moody and closed because they are afraid of sharing their experience with people because of the fear of condemnation and being misunderstood.


• Inability to build healthy relationship with the opposite sex: Most people who are involved in pornography and masturbation are so used to living within themselves, they reach agreements with themselves that they often don’t know how to build the complicated relationship with the opposite sex. This could lead to men preferring not to marry or even to divorce after marriage.


• Social and societal awkwardness: Most such men feel awkward and unaccepted in the society and among their peers. They feel out of place if they don’t relate well with the opposite sex or if they don’t marry at a certain age or they are uninterested in women. On the other hand, they might feel they are under pressure from the society to get a wife even though they don’t have the interest. They might be pushed into marrying to make children even when they don’t have love for their partner. They have all sorts of awkwardness due to masturbation.


• Lack of strong will: The problem of masturbation is an affirmation of the fact that a man has stopped fighting. It is an acceptance of defeat. In most cases when you accept defeat in a particular area of your life, it could go a long way to affecting you in other areas. It now becomes easier to give up rather than to fight.


• Spiritual bondage, darkness and demonic infiltration: such persons who engage in pornography and masturbation constantly feel the absence of God in their lives, the absence of His light and peace and some even experience the activities of demons and evil spirits.

1. 3.      CONCRETE STEPS TO OVERCOMING PORNOGRAPHY AND MASTURBATION

First, you must acknowledge that the addiction to pornography and masturbation exists. Many who are caught in the trap of addiction will adamantly deny the problem. However, if there is no acknowledgement there cannot be any remedy. (Proverbs 28:13).

The following steps will also help:

1. PROTECT YOUR THOUGHTS

You must realize that everything we do or act out in the physical realm is only as a result of our thoughts. In the real sense, thoughts are suggestions to us from the outside world. Our thoughts originate from our five sensory organs: • What we see• What we hear• What we touch• What we taste• What we smell

2. REFUSE TO OPEN THE DOOR

What do we do in such cases when we have already involuntarily looked at something or heard something provocative to our sexual desires? Do not yield or open the door for it. ­- Gen 4:7. Do this by: (a). Neglect or ignore it; (b). Focus on other things; (c). Change the image before your eyes or change what you are hearing; (d). Cast it down. Cast down the thought. Overthrow it by speaking to it. (e). Forget about it and move on.

3. DON’T SUBMIT

Never submit in your mind and thoughts with the idea that pornography or masturbation is okay and there is really nothing you can do about it. Whatever we agree with eventually dominates us.

4. RESIST

The Bible says: “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you”. (James 4:7).

5. THINK AND PRAY LESS ABOUT IT

Once you keep on praying about it, it means you keep on thinking about it. When it comes to masturbation, your main purpose is not to even think about it. Hence the key is just to forget it, don’t open that door. If you pray about it, do it a minimum of times and, move on after that.

6. STOP TALKING YOURSELF OUT OF IT

Another reason why most people cannot get out of pornography and masturbation is because they try to talk themselves out of it. They keep on trying to convince themselves about how wrong this is. “Is it really wrong or not?” “How bad is it?” They keep on thinking of how horrible it feels. They deliberate within themselves on why they should not do it. As a result what you think about, you bring about, hoping to confess and conquer next time.

7. DECREASE OR MAGNIFY

When it comes to pornography and masturbation everything depends on the power of the mind. What our mind focuses on increases. We magnify everything in our lives through and by our focus. The key therefore to reduce the impact of anything over and upon us is to reduce our focus and emphasis on the thing. If you want the topic of masturbation and other sexual suggestions to lose its power and its grip over your life, reduce it by paying less attention to it and by laying less emphasis on it. When you think about it and talk about it all the time, you make it bigger in real sense.

8. STOP CONDEMNING YOURSELF

One of the immediate consequences of masturbation is the thought of self-condemnation. Believe in the scripture which says: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9). Isa 43:25. One of the greatest strategies of the enemy is to kill you through your own hands, the weapon is self-condemnation.

9. DON’T LET MASTURBATION DEFINE YOU

Young Christians with good intentions begin to define themselves by what they do, so a person who masturbates, begins to see himself as a sinner, not like God sees him or who he is in Christ. He wrongly allows what he does to define him. The truth is that you’re not your sin.

10. HAVE THE RIGHT IDENTITY

Think right about yourself. If you want to overcome pornography addiction and masturbation in particular, see yourself as God sees you. Address yourself as a son of God. You are a kingdom citizen. See yourself as God’s image, God’s likeness. Stop seeing yourself as a sinner. See yourself as a lover of God and a worshiper of God. If you feel you have done something wrong, confess it and forgive yourself of it and stand right before God.

11. TURN DISADVANTAGE TO ADVANTAGE

Any mistake, failure or weakness you have must be viewed as a reason to desire God more. When you fail, you realize your imperfection and that should make you to want to get closer to God more. Not by thinking of your failure, but by thinking of becoming more like Him, like His character, like His nature, how to emulate Him. Anytime you fail or fall, let it renew your determination to be more broken, to desire God more, and to strive to come closer to Him.

12. GOD’S POWER IS PERFECTED IN OUR WEAKNESSES

Sometimes, the most important things to happen to us are our weaknesses, otherwise we will be full of pride, self-righteousness. This could even lead us to think we are God ourselves. Meditate on: -   2corinth. 12:10

13. BECOME A GOD LOVER INSTEAD OF A LOVER OF PLEASURE

The first and greatest commandment in the Bible is love. Loving God! God’s requirement is that we love him with all our heart, soul and strength. So when we don’t love him fully, then Satan has a place. Anything we don’t fill with God, Satan will fill it with sin. - Mark 12:30

14. APPLY THE POWER OF THE BLOOD

We need the power of the blood all the time in our lives. Apply by faith the protective power of Jesus on your mind and on your thought life from time to time. Put yourself under the authority of the blood of Jesus. There-in lies a powerful Tools to Victory.