Humor

What Time Is It, Really?

by James Snyder 
03/04/17
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When it comes to certain things, I am quite a bit confused. One thing has to do with time. What I want to know, what time is it?

I do not know why time cannot be the same for everybody. After all, everybody is squirming about equal rights. Why can’t we have equal time rights? Why do we have to split it up so much?

If that is not enough, we have this idea of changing the time. Who in the world came up with such a stupid idea? You turn the clock ahead one hour and then a couple months later you turn it back one hour. What good does that accomplish?

It is like giving somebody a dollar and then six months later taking that dollar back. What exactly is going on? It just does not really make sense to me.

It has taken me quite a while to get adjusted to this idea of “Spring Forward” and “Fall Backward.” I get the idea falling backwards, but I do not know what it means to spring forward. Moreover, why can’t we spring backward and fall forward one year? After all, there is this issue of equal rights.

It has taken me a while to get adjusted to these kinds of time changes.

One year I remember rather well when I got everything confused. I thought I would take control and not tell the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage that I was going to change the clocks. I wanted it to be a surprise for her.

Of course, I put things off to the last minute and usually get into trouble. I put this off to the last minute not knowing that my wife had already turned the clocks ahead. So, trying to impress the good lady of the parsonage that I was a responsible gentleman, I went around and turned all the clocks ahead one hour.

Some people say when you get older you forget a lot. I have been forgetting a lot all my life.

A few hours later, after setting the clock forward an hour, I could not remember if I really set the clock forward. So, very quietly I went around and set all of the clocks forward one hour. This was on a Saturday night. I thought I would really surprise my wife with remembering to set the clocks forward.

That night when it came time to go to bed, I noticed that I was not very tired. I try to go to bed by 11 o’clock each night, but this night I just could not even yawn.

“I think,” I told my wife, “I’ve had too much coffee today. I just don’t feel sleepy.”

She looked at the clock, scratched her head and said, “I don’t feel sleepy either.”

What do you do when it is time to go to bed and you do not feel sleepy but you know you have to go to bed or you will not get up on time in the morning. And church services were in the morning.

“Well,” my wife looking at me rather strange, “we better go to bed or we will not be able to get up in the morning. And we can’t be late for church.”

It was a little after 11 when I got to bed and my eyes just would not close. I closed them and they would snap open right away. I tried counting sheep. By the time I got to 10,978 sheep, I was just as awake as before. What do you do with that many sheep?

Eventually I must have fallen asleep because suddenly I heard the alarm clock going off. It was eight o’clock and we had to hurry to get dressed in order to get to the church on time. We were so late that we did not have an opportunity to have breakfast, but I snatched a cup of coffee anyway and took it along with me.

We got to the church on time, at least according to our clock, and waited for people to come. Nobody showed up and I was getting rather antsy. I turned to my wife and said, “This is Sunday isn’t it?”

Our church service starts at 10:30 a.m., by 11 o’clock nobody had come. At 12 o’clock noon, we decided something had gone wrong and started closing up the church to go home.

As soon as we locked up the church, the cars started pulling in and we were rather confused. Why was everybody so late?

My wife looked at me and said rather strangely, “Did you turn the clock ahead one hour last night?”

“Yes,” I said very proudly, “I turned the clock ahead one hour just as we're supposed to.”

My wife just stared at me and said, “So did I.”

We tried to figure out why our clocks were two hours ahead of everybody else.

When you are supposed to turn the clock ahead one hour and you end up turning it ahead three hours, a lot of confusion can happen.

It is hard to know what time it really is, which is why I like what Paul said. “And that, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed”  (Romans 13:11).

Waiting on God’s time is the wisest use of our time knowing that he has all things in hand.