Humor

Where in the World Does Time Go?

by James Snyder 
02/25/17
Free to Share
Author requests article critique

  Message Writer
  Hire Writer

Tweet

I remember my grandfather telling me that the older you get the faster time flies. Laughing at him at the time I thought it was another of his little stories he loved telling.

Just the other day I caught myself telling one of my grandchildren, “The older you get the faster time flies.” Then it occurred to me. I am my grandfather. I am not sure how I got here, but here I am.

It is hard keeping up with things, especially when time ticks by so fast. Just when you think you are all caught up, you realize you have to start it all over again.

I was complaining about this the other day to the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. Normally, I try not to do any complaining in her presence. She has the ability of turning my complaint upside down and confusing me to the extent that I have no idea what I am complaining about.

In my complaint I said, “Where does time go?”

“Where,” my wife said rather sarcastically, “do you want time to go?”

I had to stop and think about that one. In fact, I am still trying to think about that one. To be rather honest, I do not know where I want time to go. The only thing I do know is, I do not want it to go by so fast. Why can’t time slow down just a little bit, especially as I get older.

In my confused state of mind my wife said, “Would you do me a favor and go to the grocery store and pick up some items? I just don’t have enough time to do it myself.”

Whenever my wife asked me to do her a “favor,” I believe there should be some kind of a recompense for my time. After all, my time is valuable, at least to me it is.

So, I said, “Would you mind…” and my wife interrupted, “Yes, I would, just get what is on the list. I need it tonight.”

Being of a husband mentality, all I really heard her say was “yes.”

As I was headed out the door, I heard her say, “And hurry, I need that stuff for this evening.”

I looked at the list and there were about 12 items she wanted me to get at the grocery store.

Because time was of the essence, I tried to hurry us much as I could. In Pennsylvania we have an old saying that says, “The hurrier I go the behinder I get.” Believe me, much of my life has been in the behinder category.

Before starting out, I glanced at the list to make sure I knew what she wanted. I got to the grocery store, parked my vehicle and then went in and got a shopping cart and started my journey of shopping. Which I really, really hate. Shopping is not a favorite thing of mine.

Starting up the first aisle, I grabbed for the shopping list to see what my first item would be. I checked my shirt pocket, no shopping list. I searched all of my pockets and much to my chagrin, no shopping list.

I may have left it in my vehicle, but since time was of the essence, I did not have time to go back to try to look for it. I thought I could do everything from memory. After all, I do not use my memory that often so I should be in good standing.

I threw about six items in the shopping cart and then looked at my watch. I was running out of time. Time goes so quickly when you are trying to remember something, especially your wife’s shopping list.

Knowing there were around 12 items on the shopping list I sank into panic mode. What were those other six items? For the life of me, I could not remember.

I did have an option I thought about. I could call my wife on my cell phone and ask her to text me the list. Then, I would be in trouble because I would not have enough time to call her and then get the items and get home in time.

I tried to put in things I thought were on the list, but it was getting late. Time was running out.

Then I did something I would later regret. Headed towards the checkout line, I passed the bakery where they had Apple fritters on sale. Without even stopping, because time was getting away from me, I grabbed two apple fritters and threw them in the shopping cart.

Why I did that, who knows.

When I brought all the items from the grocery store and put them on the kitchen table, my wife looked them over and informed me that I only got two items on her list. “Why didn’t you get the rest of the items?”

All I could say was, “I’m sorry, time got away from me.” Believe me when I say, that will be the last time I use that excuse.

I could not help but think of a verse of Scripture. “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1).

Everybody has the same amount of time; it’s how you use that time that really makes the difference. Time, as I have discovered, is no excuse for not getting something done.