Humor

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I must admit that I am not a great one in answering questions. It may be I do not hear the question correctly, or someone will ask me a question and I give an answer to another question.

I am beginning to think that I have a little bit of politician-itis. I hope there is a cure for this. I would hate to go through the rest of my life inflicted with this malady. I promise you, I am not running for any political office, and therefore I do not need any politician-itis to infect my personality.

Overall, questions are very hard to answer. If you miss one word in the question, in your mind you hear a different question. I must confess that I do not always listen as carefully as I should. Usually I am thinking of something else when somebody presents their question to me.

By somebody, I am referencing the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. I noticed a game show on television now called, “500 Questions.” I had to laugh when I saw it because my wife has them beat by a long shot. Why, she can give me 500 questions before breakfast.

It is my opinion that one of the secrets to longevity, not to speak of happiness, in marriage is not taking all of those questions seriously. If I had to answer all the questions that came to me in the order they came to me, either I would be divorced or in an insane asylum, which may be the same place.

Whoever coined the phrase, “Yes, Dear,” was a genius on many levels. When I began using this phrase, my life took on a little calmer altitude.

One of the things that I have learned about wives is that they will ask questions not really expecting answers. When I first got married, I thought I had to answer every question that stumbled out of her mouth. I still remember the day when it dawned on me that she was asking me questions not to get my answer but to have me nod my head and say, “Yes, Dear.” Then our marriage took on a very nice direction.

I am not sure what I was doing at the time, but the question that came from my spouse, was, “Are you acting odd, or what?”

Now, according to my spouse, she believes I am an Academy award actor. I only wish I were as good as she thinks I am in the area of the thespian arts. I simply am not.

To her question, “Are you acting odd, or what?” I simply replied by saying, “I’m not acting!”

At the time, I did not know what I was saying, but the more I think about it, the more I think I said the right thing. I am not sure it is possible to act odd, although there may be some very good actors that can pull it off. With me, I am not acting.

I am not sure what “acting odd” means from her perspective, but I am coming to understand my perspective of the whole thing.

I may appear to be “acting odd,” but I am really simply just odd. I think I can rightly say that I am the “Wizard of Odd.”

Being somewhat of an expert in the area of “acting odd,” I have learned a few things about it. There is nothing wrong with being odd, particularly in the society in which we live.

Sometimes people talk about the “average person in America,” which does not exist anywhere on the planet. What would the average person look like? Where would you begin?

I know with many people, what I do may look odd. I am not worried about that. I know my wife thinks some of the things I do is odd. But then, she married me. I could not be that odd if she was willing to marry me.

Everybody is odd in different ways. I’m not sure all the different ways in which I am odd, but the more I look into myself and the oddness of my life, I’m getting a little more comfortable in my skin. I am not sure what that means, because I have never been out of my skin that I can remember. There were those odd moments when my skin crawled, but that’s another story.

Being odd isn’t the horrible thing some people think it is. If I were just like everybody else, how would you know it’s me? The thing that makes me different from everybody else is that aspect of oddness that permeates my personality.

It is not that I have tried to be odd. I am just trying to be myself. I see some of these so-called celebrities on TV and everybody wants to be like them. I have yet to see anybody on TV I would like to be like. If I were like some celebrity, how would you know the difference between me and he?

I have come to like myself and the main reason I have come to that point is I have discovered how much God loves me. One of my favorite verses is, John 3:16, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

I accept being odd now because one day I will be even.

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