Marriage

The power of forgiveness

by Janice S Ramkissoon 
05/03/15
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One marital tip from our 15 years of marriage: 'passionately, aggressively, forgive' (overcoming evil with good. See Romans 12:21).

On Sunday 5th April 2015, our minister shared with us the Christ who came so that broken lives can be restored, empty lives can be filled and lives that are full can be used. I was able to apply that to many areas of my life, giving praise for answered prayers or looking forward to areas where my life feels empty and know that I need to make this message applicable in those areas.

Looking back on the past 15 years of our marriage there are so many things I would like to share with my friends and relatives. Nevertheless, the most powerful message I can think of sharing with you is the one that has been the key to our marriage thriving over these turbulent years: the power of forgiveness. To say, "Sorry." from a repentant heart when you have wronged someone and accepting that apology when it is being offered (when you have been wronged) is a vital ingredient for your relationship to thrive.

I came into this marriage broken, so did my husband. But not realising his brokenness, I felt I was the only one who needed divine intervention. I quickly learned that no individual enters a marriage whole. We live in a broken world. We wouldn't need a Saviour if we were perfect. I learned that the hard way.

For any marriage to survive the couple must passionately, aggressively forgive.

My husband is  not perfect but he willingly apologises when he's wrong and he's willing to forgive when he has been wronged. He had to grow to that place but I stood with him through that growth process and it was a joy to experience the outcome. It wouldn't be true love to run while God is shaping the vessel.

My husband loved me enough to hold my hand through the pain and he watched me grow from strength to strength. He could have given up on me, our marriage and our family but he stood by me and we worked as a team.

There is that word, 'team' which is another vital part of a marriage working. If one person is doing all the work in trying to build a life, buildup relationships (your own and other people connected to the marriage) then it is not a marriage, it is two people living separate lives, two individuals sharing the same space, occasionally doing favours for each other. It takes team work to build and maintain a strong marriage.

Christ's death and resurrection represents:

Restoration for lives that are broken;

Fulfillment for lives that are empty; and

Usefulness for lives that are fulfilled.

My heart goes out to you today, if your marriage seems to be breaking or has been broken. Marriages that are broken can be restored and that is my prayer for you today.

If you feel that your marriage is lacking in some areas and you feel empty inside, remember that Christ came to give you life in abundance. He wants to fill your life and marriage with His goodness. His grace is sufficient for you. Take time to seek His guidance for that lacking area of your life/marriage and experience that abundance He has prepared for you.

Are you full to over-flowing? Don't forget how it felt as you went through the years of feeling broken or empty. Share from the overflow and help another couple understand that they too can share in that experience.

The joy of the Lord is our strength. "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep." (John 10:10-11).

I urge you not to let this Easter message be drowned out by the hustle and bustle of life as you return to the mundane.  Allow the message of Christ in all its fullness to find a home in your heart and allow the Holy Spirit to do a work of transformation in your broken or empty marriage so that you can experience that joy you long for and be used to enrich the lives of those connected to you.

Happy anniversary if you are celebrating another year of marital bliss. Many happy returns! Keep working at it. Go through the challenges together, smile together as you go through the joyous moments, cry together through times of sorrow and like my husband and I you too will keep on reaping the rewards together.

Happy married life!

Your sister in Christ

Janice S. Ramkissoon

3rd May 2015.