Encouragement

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Bulling convinced me I was Ugly

Not too long ago, I was rummaging through my photo collection when I stumbled upon an old picture of myself from 1987. As I gazed at it, a flood of painful memories washed over me. At 20 years old, I was painfully shy, lacking in confidence, and fragile. The smile plastered on my face was nothing but a façade concealing the turmoil raging within me. Mental bullying had left its mark, convincing me of a distorted reality where I believed I was ugly, a hideous monster. Despite efforts from others to convince me otherwise, I couldn't shake this belief.

You see, I was born with a prominent red birthmark on the left side of my face. From a young age, I assumed it was the first thing people noticed about me, making me feel like an outsider. The elementary school became a battleground where cruel classmates took joy in teasing me relentlessly, leaving me emotionally wounded with taunts like "Red-face monster," "Ugly girl," and "Two-face monster." These insults became the foundation for countless pity parties I hosted at home, questioning why I was dealt such a hand.

My mother was my beacon of light in these dark times. Whenever she saw me in tears, she made every effort to reassure me of my beauty and worth. Her words were a balm to my wounded soul, reminding me that I was beautiful, great, and somebody. With her unwavering support, I began to entertain the possibility that her affirmations held some truth.

Over time, my mother's positive affirmations planted a seed of hope within me. By the fourth grade, I mustered a shred of confidence and embarked on the journey to break free from the shackles of bullying. While the scars of those painful experiences remained, I found solace in the love and encouragement of my mother, who believed in me when I couldn't believe in myself.

An adult unknowingly joined the bullying squad

I was on the brink of overcoming my insecurities when one day, my teacher called out to me, not by my name, but as "Red face." The shock that coursed through me was palpable. How could she stoop so low and undermine my journey to self-love with a thoughtless remark? In an instant, the fragile confidence I had painstakingly built was shattered, dragging me back to square one.

Tears stream down my face as I recall this painful memory - a long overdue cathartic release.

For an adult to reinforce the hurtful labels that children had unwittingly bestowed upon me solidified my belief that I was indeed a "red-face monster." Little did my teacher know, those four words she uttered that day added to the anguish that haunted me for decades.

As I transitioned from adolescence to adulthood, maturity helped dull the pain from my past, but it never fully erased it. Thankfully, God placed special friends in my life who celebrated and uplifted me in unforgettable ways. By the time I graduated from university, the burden felt lighter, but there was still work to be done. I struggled to find my self-worth, and this trauma followed me into adulthood, casting shadows over precious opportunities and reducing my self-esteem from low to virtually nonexistent.

My turning point came when I allowed the comforting words of God to permeate my being. Through daily affirmations of key scriptures in front of my bedroom mirror, I found the courage to confront my fear of rejection. Verses like 2 Timothy 1:7 - "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind" became my anchor, offering reassurance and boldness. I learned from the Word of God that all are equal before Him, and there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. If God is for me, who can be against me? With determination, I resolved to believe in myself.

The light of truth began to dispel the darkness of lies that bullying had planted in my mind. It was time to trade self-doubt for self-love and reclaim what intimidation had stolen from me as a child.

I started embracing and celebrating the best version of myself. Instead of disdain for my birthmark, I found appreciation. Above all, I realized that God had given it to me for a reason, and I had no right to question His plan.

Slowly but surely, the emotional and mental baggage that weighed me down for years began to fall away. My self-esteem, once rock bottom, began to soar. Finally, things were looking up for me.

A better person emerged from the dungeon of bullying

Today, as I stand before the mirror, I can genuinely say, "Thank You, Lord, for crafting me beautifully." I've come to deeply appreciate and love the unique way God fashioned me. My happiness now takes precedence. I'm vigilant about what enters my personal sphere, knowing that if I don't guard it, someone else will. Gone are the days of bending to please others. It's time to set boundaries and live life on my terms.

Reflecting on my journey, I shudder to think of the alternative paths I might have taken to numb the pain inflicted by bullying. Who knows the harm that seeking validation from the wrong sources could have wrought? Thankfully, God intervened, turning my sorrow into dreams fulfilled.

No matter your trials, the first step towards healing is believing in yourself. Refuse to be bullied into submission. Stand tall, embrace self-love, and recognize your worth. Leave the past behind and look toward a brighter future. Remember, you are fearfully and wonderfully made, and the world eagerly awaits your unique contributions.

Furthermore, let us be mindful of the power of our words. Words can uplift or destroy, to heal or wound. Let us choose our words with care, speaking life and encouragement into the lives of others. In a world of uncertainty, let's strive to spread joy and kindness, especially during these challenging times.

Together, as we unite against bullying and commit to speaking life into others, our efforts to create a better world will not be in vain.

May Oyairo is the Founder and Publisher of MannaXPRESS. She is dedicated to empowering, informing, and inspiring people of all races. Visit www.mannaxpress.com for more self-improvement and inspirational articles.

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