Faith

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After I got saved I really struggled to fit in. Most of my family and friends just thought I had gone crazy. They all knew how I was and just couldn't believe that my life had really changed. The church I had joined really did nothing to help me grow. I don’t remember anyone ever trying to befriend me and before long I just gravitated back into my old ways, only worse. I reconnected with some old friends and we started going out partying. I had Larry and Amanda to watch the kids anytime I needed them. They were young and in love and liked having a place to themselves so they never seemed to mind. This freed me up to go out partying just about every weekend. A big part of the party scene was drugs. I would mainly do crystal or ecstasy whichever I could get my hands on. Either one would pretty much keep the party going all weekend. With me being normally shy and introverted this brought out a side of me that I had never really known. When I was high I was the life of the party. I had no problem talking to girls or getting them to dance which was all new for me. But what I soon discovered was crystal meth was highly addictive and I found myself needing it all the time. I had people close to me who were dealing it so it was just too easy to come by.

After several months in this lifestyle I knew I had to quit and I did. It was not easy but somehow I was able to stop without any type of rehab. There was something within me that gave me the strength to walk away and never look back. I still went out with friends from time to time but changed my drug to drinking. I guess I reasoned that at least I was not addicted to alcohol. I would usually drink screw drivers, tequila sunrises, or long island tea if I really wanted to get plastered. I finally realized that my drinking alcohol was probably not a good idea. I had a grandfather who was an alcoholic and was killed when I was 14 years old. He was driving the wrong way up the Brandon exit and hit an 18-wheeler head on. Also, my great grandfather was killed at age 42 after the Copiah County Sheriff shot him while he was running moonshine. So alcoholism did definitely run in my family but by God’s grace I was spared from the disease. Still something within was telling me I needed to stop this partying lifestyle. I was trying to fill a void with all the wrong things and at all the wrong places. Drugs and alcohol were only leading me further and further from my destiny. I needed help when I couldn't help myself. I needed an angel and God had one just for me.

Check back tomorrow for Chapter 5, My Angel

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