Faith

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I quit school again and just worked full-time for my uncle for a while. I did return to Hinds and took and passed my GED. I was now 17 years old with a GED and ready to take on the world. Because my cousin and I were now living on our own, our place became the popular hangout for our teenage friends. We always had a lot of pot and had a foosball table where other troubled youth loved to hang out. It was during this time that I met my first wife. She would come over every day just like the rest and before you knew it I was getting married. I remember this being the first and only big fight I ever had with my mother as she really tried to talk sense into me but I of course was too grown to listen. So barely 18 years old I found myself married which was very un-cool with my cousin Gary. I think everyone but me saw that she was trouble and did what they could to talk some sense into me. But I was just too stubborn to listen to anyone. After all this Gary and I kind of parted ways for a while. I think he was hurt because I let a girl get in the way of our friendship. We really didn't talk to each other a whole lot the next few years.

I moved out of my cousin’s place and went to work for my first wife’s father who was in the oil business. We lived out of hotel rooms as we traveled from one work-site to the other. One day we were out working in the marsh. We were split up into teams on two different marsh buggy’s about 100 yards apart. There was a 5-foot deep and 20-foot wide river of marsh water between us. We received a call on the radio that the other marsh buggy had broken down and they needed a tool that we had to fix it. But because of the river of marsh water between us we could not get to them to take them the tool without coming completely out of the marsh and going to the other side which would have taken hours. For those of you not familiar with the Louisiana marsh it is filled with snakes, alligators and all kinds of other creatures. Well, being 18 years old and a bit stupid I volunteered to take the tool to the other buggy. This required me to wade through the river of marsh water to get to semi-solid land so I could walk the rest of the way to the other buggy. So I jumped out without thinking, waded the 20 feet through the marsh water. Then once back on the marsh, I traveled the rest of the way to the other buggy. Covered in leeches I made it safely. I peeled the leeches off, gave them the tool they needed and made the trip back to our buggy. Within several minutes they had their buggy fixed and we moved on and finished the day.

When we arrived back at the hotel that evening I was called to the owner of the company’s hotel room. I had never even met him and was very nervous. I thought maybe someone had reported me and I was going to get fired for a safety violation. After shaking my hand he told me that from a distance he had been watching the situation. He was very concerned because the breakdown was potentially going to cost the company lots of time and money. Then he saw me jump in the marsh, risking my own safety to help the other crew get their buggy fixed. After going on and on about how much he appreciated what I did, he then completely shocked me. He offered me a promotion to head the crew on the next job. It was going to require me to drive the crew on an air boat which I had no idea how to do but greatly accepted the challenge. This became a huge lesson on work ethic which I have taught in many of my career readiness classes. It showed me at a very young age that I should always give 100% in everything I do whether anyone is watching or not. I had no idea the head of the company was even there, let alone watching me. And my reward was a promotion far beyond what I was capable of.

I really enjoyed working in the oil field and was making really good money but there was one big problem. Living and working along side my first wife’s father was hard because he was an alcoholic and was very physically and verbally abusive. He was a very scary man and on one particular job after my new promotion we had to stay in the same room as he and his wife. After a night of drinking he and his wife came in fighting and I listened from the other room and he literally beat her and cussed her for everything she was worth. When I got up to stop him from hitting her, his daughter stopped me and said that is just the way they are. She said they do that all the time. I decided that next morning that there was no way I was going to be around that lifestyle so I left that job and returned home where we moved in with my parents for a short period of time. I hadn't lived at home since I left at age 16 so it was a challenge for sure. Especially now that we just found out that she was pregnant with our first child.

I had found a job working nights at the Clarion Ledger but was only making minimum wage. And with a child on the way I knew I had to do something. I went to the Army Recruiters office to enter the Army. After taking the ASVAB Test I only made a 32 which was not high enough to get in the regular army but they told me that I could enter the National Guard. When they asked me what I wanted to do I just told them I would do what ever would send me to active duty the fastest. They told me if I would join the Military Police I could leave within a couple of months so I accepted the offer and got sworn in. I wasn't sure how a pot head was going to make it as a Military Policeman but I needed a good job so I went for it. I stopped smoking pot and started getting in shape. Once I arrived at boot camp it was just what the doctor ordered. Right away I was assigned as squad leader, once again finding myself in a leadership role. And after all the failures I had in school, sports and how my job in the oil field ended my self-esteem had really taken a beating. But now that someone was giving me another chance I grabbed a hold and did not let go. I took my new leadership role very serious. I started working out after hours and motivating the weak ones in my squad. I loved helping the weaker ones get better and improve their scores. One of the first things I had to do was to pick and appoint an assistant squad leader. I chose one of the stronger guys in my squad and we became good friends. We started working out together and pushing each other and within 4-5 weeks we had made the maximum score on the PT Test and were just pushing each other to get better and better. This was a tremendous experience for me and definitely a pivotal point in my life. During the four months I was in training I really grew as an individual and when I came home at the end of training I was exuding with confidence.

Shortly after I arrived from training the birth of my first son came on August 25, 1982 and at the ripe ole age of 19 I became a father for the first time. Unfortunately, I also discovered the fact that until you are 21 years old you could not work in law enforcement. So I felt like I had all this amazing training in me and could not do anything with it. I was really struggling to find a full-time job and Addison, who was home for the summer from college, told me about a company who was hiring for a part-time after school shift. Well I now had a family to support so I was in no position to be picky. I interviewed with NAPA Distribution Center in Jackson and got hired as a part-time truck loader at $4.44 an hour. In this company, promotions were given primarily on seniority. After several months of loading trucks a full-time Parts Puller position was posted. Since all the other part-time workers were college students I was the only one who put their name on the board and got the job and a small raise. At least I was now working full-time.

After about a year of parts pulling I was a leader in production and really enjoying my job. But something within was telling me that I could do more. Being a high school drop out with only a GED I had never really considered doing anything other than manual labor but something was telling me I was better than that. Then one day an office job was posted. Most people in the warehouse really had no interest in working in the office. I had never done any kind of office work and never touched a computer in my life. But something was pushing me, telling me to give it a try. So I went upstairs and talked to the purchasing manager who was interviewing candidates. He knew who I was from the good reputation I had gained working in the warehouse but didn't know much about me personally. He asked me about myself and I told him that I had never done office work before but believed given the chance could do anything. He said that he would discuss it with his manager and let me know. I must have made an impression because they gave me the job that came with another decent raise.

Over the next couple of years I committed myself to learn all I could and had become a well respected employee with all managers. They were even giving me much of their work to complete because they knew I could be depended on to do the job. I had topped out on the pay scale and was getting kind of bored with my job so I asked to be transferred to another department just so I could learn something new. I took another job in the customer service department and was enjoying learning new things. Since I started work at NAPA two other major things had occurred. First was the birth of my second son on December 6, 1984 and second my marriage started to fall apart. As fate would have it I had really began to turn my life around. I was no longer partying and I was doing really well in my job. But for some reason my wife didn't like the new me. She liked the partying lifestyle and did not want to give it up. It got to where she was going out and leaving me at home with the kids. I really didn't know what to do. In an attempt to save the marriage I thought a change in scenery may help get her away from all her partying friends and bad influences in her life. So I asked to be transferred to the distribution center in Memphis, Tennessee. The only job they had available was a stocker position which was a major step back for me but being young and trying to save my marriage I decided to take the job. But even though it was a lesser job the pay was actually about a dollar more an hour simply because of the pay scale in Tennessee. We moved to a really nice apartment in Whitehaven and I commuted to work every day.

This lasted for about six months and I was just not happy with taking such a huge step back in my career. I had worked hard to get where I was and my marriage was still in turmoil with constant fighting. So I decided to call my old boss back and ask him to let me know if anything opened back up in the office. As fate would have it he just so happen to have a brand new position opening up for a computer operator. I had done data entry in my previous jobs and was pretty good doing 10-key punch but that was about it. But he really appreciated the job I had done for him and offered me the job which came with a decent pay raise, even more than I was making in Memphis. It was not long after we returned home that my wife started going out partying again. I finally took all I could and just told her to leave and stay gone. Originally when we separated we agreed that I would take custody of my oldest son and she would take our youngest son and we would arrange visitation so we could see both children. She then left to stay with her sister. After about a week my sister-in-law called and wanted to know if I had seen her sister. She said that she left our youngest son with her and took off and she hadn't heard from her in about a week. I immediately went and picked him up and filed for divorce and full custody of both children. She didn't even put up a fight and the judge gladly gave me custody. Now my challenge was how in the world would I work nights and raise one and three year sons on my own. My brother, Larry who was around 16 years old at the time, moved in with me. He and his girlfriend, Amanda helped keep an eye on the boys in the evenings while I was at work.

Although their help was a tremendous blessing my life was slowly falling apart. I had lost touch with most of my friends after I got married so I had no one I could talk to. My cousin, Gary had gotten married and I hadn't seen my cousin Craig in years. Addison was still away at USM so I felt completely alone and was simply exhausted. I fell into depression and really just wanted it all to end. I remember my 25th birthday; I didn't receive a single “Happy Birthday” call or even a birthday card from anyone. This was very unusual because before that birthday my mother had always called me singing, “Happy Birthday to you” but for whatever reason, I guess she just forgot as well as the rest of my family and friends. I felt completely alone. I remember one night I had gotten Larry and Amanda to watch the kids and I went out and got drunk. When I came home everyone was in bed and I went to the kitchen and took out a large butcher knife and put it to my stomach. That night I cried out to a God I did not know and begged for the pain to end. I remember at that moment thinking of my two sons and what would become of them. I decided that I just could not abandon them and put the knife away and went to bed. Shortly afterwards I was flipping through channels and the 700 Club was on. Normally I would have just moved on but something caused me to stay and watch. At the end of the show there was an 800 number to call for prayer so I called and poured out my heart to a complete stranger. Afterwards she prayed with me and counseled me to find a local church. Feeling desperate I took my boys to the closest church I could find. Something within had given me a hunger for the things of God and I really wanted my life to change. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I soon gave my life to Christ and was baptized. As I look back on it now, that was without a doubt the turning point of my life but it would still be several years before my life would really change.

Check back tomorrow for Chapter 4, Taking Backward Steps

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