Humor

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THE MORNING MEETING OF MI

The morning meetings of MI (Maggots Incorporated) started a little later than anticipated. The little flesh eating devils settle in to receive their morning assignments. A shorter, fatter maggot waddles up onto the stage…gently taps the microphone…clears his (or her…who can tell?) throat…

“Ok fellow larva, may I have your attention? We’ve got a big day ahead of us, and a lot of flesh to cover, so let’s get started. Those in unit 497 will cover quadrant C which includes the right finger up to the first knuckle. Those in unit 5756 will work with unit 497 according to Union regulations which means cartilage and tendons of quadrant C are to be salvaged only by those covered by Union regulation 75.4.1 in unit 5756.

Moving on…the left pinky will be salvaged by unit 21 in accordance with the “under the fingernail” addendum written into regulation 832.3…”

Murmuring amongst the larvi interrupts the speakers methodic cadence…

“This is what y’all voted for…so stop complaining. You can’t please everybody.”

Another little maggot waddles upon the stage.

“Now Charlie, this is no time to renegotiate…so…”

Charlie motions that he wants a private conference.

After a brief consultation, which leaves both maggots looking a little depressed (How one could tell, I don’t know) the speaker steps back up to the microphone…

“Uh…bad news…I don’t know what happened but a full investigation will commence I assure you.”

The crowd starts to murmur their little larva murmurings…

“Calm down…we do have a problem but we’ll get to the bottom of it.”

“What’s the problem?,” asks an overzealous maggot named…uh…well…Mags.

The speaker clears his throat again.

“Well…uh it seems…that there will be no work today.”

“Why?,” Mags violently asks

“Because…He’s left the building.”

A SOLDIER SAYS “OOPS”

“You come in here and all you have to say is ‘oops’?” a man wearing a dress asks another man wearing a dress.

“Well golleeee Sarge…what was I supposed to do?”, the addressed man dressed in a dress asks the first man wearing a dress.

“Gomericanus, you expect me to believe that you and Fumbledumble Caligualistus see this...figure....dressed in white...like snow...and you run like girls?" He doesn't seem to notice that...Gomericanus' wearing a dress.

“Yes Sarge, that's exactly what happened”

“Just plain silly. Well where is He?”

Sheepishly Gomericanus responds, "We didn't wait around to find out."

"Well what do you think happened to Him?"

Gomericanus gulps.

"Well we think..."

He hesitates.

“Well…?” The consternated dress wearing Sargeant asks…very consternated-ly.

Gomericanus looks non-plussed.

He shrugs his shoulders and says quite quizzically.

“We think He left the building?”

THE KING OF THE ROCK THAT ROLLED

Luke 24:1-5

On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here He has risen.

JESUS...has left the building.

HAPPY EASTER

(Last word from the rock that rolled: "I could have been a person." Matthew 3:9)

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