Humor

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I just hate it! Why do we have to have a Senior Prom? We had a Junior Prom last year and I haven’t got over that one yet! I was humiliated to tears.

It’s just unnatural for legs to do all that wobbling and criss-crossing stuff. Legs were made to hold you up high enough to kiss a girl not tangle her up in some kind of primeval ritual practiced by those who want to show off.

I went to the Junior Prom last year because the girl I was dating at the time pressured me into it. Never liked her after that! I got on the dance floor after all my excuses were exhausted. That’s the first time I understood what my preacher always said about a living Hell. Believe me, I was in a living Hell! My legs became cement blocks and my feet got bigger than two Volkswagens. One dance and that was it for me, and my date. The school nurse had to check out the bruising on my date’s feet. Thank God, she would be okay with a lot of rest and a couple weeks off her feet.

That was last year and here we go again! What in the world will I do? I’m kind of popular, what with being the captain of the football team and all. The whole school expects me to be at the Prom. I don’t want to go!

Maybe I can quit school and join the Army…or, maybe I can run away with the carnival and become a clown! My luck, I would have to dance around as a clown and the Army, being coed now; it would be my fortune they would order me to dance in basic training!

I considered dance class, but being from a small town, the only dance studio around, “La Lightfoot Dance Emporium,” heard about my fiasco at the Junior Prom last year and told me they didn’t have any openings for new students. Yea, I bet!

Why a prom where you dance? Why not one where you watch a good movie or just sit around and talk or something? This world is just not made for klutzes!

I guess I need to consult my pastor about what to do. He seems to know pretty much everything there is to know. He preached last week on dancing, come to think of it. Something about King David dancing. Hey, why didn’t I think about the Bible having the answer I need anyway?

Okay, key in David danced in the BlueLetterBible.com and get some enlightenment.

Ahhh, I knew it…see, Mark 6:22 And when the daughter of the said Herodias came in, and danced, and pleased Herod and them that sat with him, the king said unto the damsel, Ask of me whatsoever thou wilt, and I will give [it] thee. Dancing really cost that old buzzard Herod, didn’t it? Man, that’s good stuff! I can use this as an excuse not to go…yea ha!

Wait a minute…wrong king. Hmmm…try again; got a little excited there. Okay, here’s one on King David: 2Samuel 6:14 And David danced before the Lord with all [his] might; and David [was] girded with a linen ephod. Just one minute there; isn’t a linen ephod the same as BVD’s? I’m not dancing at no prom in my dainties for nobody!

Okay, so I went on and read the rest of the story. Seems David was so excited about seeing the Ark of the Covenant (the very presence of God) coming into town, that he rushed out in his unmentionables and did a few back over cartwheels and a real country jig. Don’t imagine he was too worried about what people had to say about his display. In fact, he wasn’t!

I reckon I can give it another try; dancing that is. I see how David could allow himself to look foolish to others by dancing the way he did. The love of the Lord overwhelmed him to just get out there and do it. Lesson learned.

I’ll go to the Prom but, I’m keeping my drawers on and…I still can’t dance!

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