Leadership

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The Promised Prom.


My dilemma was impossible. My irrepressible dream was to take her to the Prom, yet I could never bring myself to ask her. The inevitability of that moment was intensified by a see-saw of fear of her “no” as greatly as her “yes.” Finally, with the clock winding down, I blurted it out in a moment of impulsive abandon fueled by anxiety and despair. Wait! The unexpected! She said yes! Granted, not an overly enthusiastic yes, but an actionable yes! The invitations to my Pre and Post Prom party went out the next day! It was truly going to be an event of biblical proportions. I went about the extraordinary preparations whistling to the tune of “This can’t be happening to me.” The anticipation was almost too much to bear. I just wanted it to be over, declared official, a matter of History, BEFORE something could go wrong. You see, because something had to go wrong. Since the onset of near terminal acne three years prior, nothing could go right socially. It was a curse that I had to bear and my friends were of no more help than Job’s and my faith was a great deal less. She was so beautiful that no one dared ask her. In fact, it was when she complained of same, that I recognized the opening, realized her vulnerability and pounced upon her, surprising even myself with my shameless and selfish aggression. I had taken advantage of a good friendship and trapped her into a yes. But even I knew that like most caged animals, she was not to be trusted!

Without being too overbearing (Or so I convinced myself) I made inquiries with each passing day. She was having her grandmother remake an old wedding dress just for the occasion. You can’t make this stuff up! She was actually coming! Ha! I was no fool. I knew there had to be a catch. A car accident, measles, death in the family (I had my eye on that Grandmother and prayed for her health daily.) I was not to be disappointed and robbed of my misery. Five days before P Day, her Grandmother gets “sick” and cannot finish the dress, the existence of which, I seriously doubt to this very day. I was to go with her best friend who had agreed to step in. Oh, what a wonderful story this would make if we fell and love and stayed together for 40 years and had five kids and eleven grandchildren. But alas, it was a disaster along the lines of the Hindenburg. She did the same too things ALL night long … remain speechless and physically attached to me! For over six hours, I lugged a mannequin around and, worse, had to introduce same to everyone I met. I deliberately said outrageous things and called her every name but hers - which I still forget to this very day – but I could not get her to release her grip. She held on like a scared kid on her first roller Coaster ride.

But something else happened that night. We sat at the table with seven African American couples. They were the only Blacks in the graduating class and no other white couples were willing to sit with them. I will never know if she objected because she never opened her mouth and I did it to shake her, not as a Christian stance for hospitality or civil rights. What was important was that His will got done. I didn’t realize it at the time as I was too busy pursuing my petty agenda and I didn’t know His will because I didn’t know Him and I didn’t know Him because I didn’t speak to Him or listen to His word. But those embarrassing truths did not prevent him from using me to bring His will about.

I know Him now. I read His word every day. I am committed to His will and it pleases me whenever I can help bring it to pass. More important, it pleases Him. I will say a prayer for her now and thank God for her. In His eyes, she was no mannequin, but a precious Angel of His will.

Desperado 8/5/04
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