Encouragement

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How to Help Others When Needed
By Dan Langerock

As the population around us ages, there will be times when others will need our assistance. Here are a few pointers to remember when giving support:

Sensitivity

Sometimes we tend to overreact when someone needs our help. We may begin ordering them around like they are helpless. Instead, try to evaluate what they can actually do, and what they cannot. You would not want someone to come into your life and begin issuing orders to you, so be sensitive as you try to aid them. Remember that many people's emotions are more volatile than they used to be for whatever reason, so be considerate.

Ask Permission

Instead of being a "drill sergeant" with the person, ask their permission to help in some way. I was observing a situation where a woman was well-meaningly trying to force another person to accept my help. I noticed the situation getting out-of-hand, so I asked the woman needing aid if she would like me to do what was being proposed for her, and she declined, which was alright. But if the conversation had gone further, the woman would have probably been emotionally hurt. Don't let your "mothering instinct" get the best of your judgement, give that person some freedom by asking if they want assistance.

Try to let those you look after have a modicum of independence as long as possible. Yes, there are situations when overruling what they want is needed, but use judgement instead of just rushing in and helping with everything when it is not needed. Just because you think they are incapable in one area does not mean they are in every situation. Think about how you want to be treated later in life and use that as your guide as you strive to help those around you. You and they will be much happier as a result.

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