Devotionals

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Confessions from the Mirror

I just didn’t seem to get it. The lessons had been abundant and the message clear and, still, I raged on in my attempts in ministry like a bull in a china closet. How many times did Jesus tell his disciples to set aside their selfish intentions and focus on God’s love instead? How often have I read books, articles, and devotionals regarding the fruit of the Spirit and the importance of loving one another? Heck, I have probably written hundreds of those devotionals myself. But was the message sinking in? Apparently not.

It had been a crazy couple of weeks at work and the schedule for the immediate future only promised to be more so. With travel to all corners of the country, the doubling of the number employees working for me, and an exploding customer base it had meant twelve-hour days and six-day weeks. Even with the additional hours and staff, I was slipping farther behind. My daily devotionals and writings suffered, I became too tired to read at night, my family was moving on in their lives without me, and my preparation for my roles on Sunday in worship and Sunday School dwindled. Everything was strained. But this is not meant as an excuse.

A friend was the first to bring it to my attention. At least I count her a friend. I don’t seem to have many friends and I think that was her point. It seems, as she graciously put it, that I have a tendency to hurt people with my words. And I have a lot of words. Verbose was what one person said. I seemingly carry an image of how things should be in the world and exert little effort in restraining myself from telling people so. It always felt justified. It was just my attempt at helping make things the way they should be. It was an endless stream of comments, opinions, and pointing out of mistakes that simply wore people down. One comment she made that stuck with me later that night and into the morning was: Shouldn’t a person who spends so much time reading the Bible exhibit some of the fruits of the Spirit in their interactions with others? Ouch!

So the next morning I sat down with my journal and expressed this growing concern to God. “Teach me to be more loving, Lord. I know that I am a work-in-progress. Please continue your work in me so I can be more effective in the building of your kingdom. Send people to me this day that will help show me your way.”

Have you ever said a prayer that you wish later you had phrased differently? It seems that when you finally pray what God wants you to pray, you will see big results in a big hurry. I won't go into the details but needless to say, God answered my prayer. That day I was involved in three conversations that focused on my tendencies to insult and criticize people at every opportunity. These conversations came from a full spectrum of customers, vendors, and co-workers. By the time I reached home that evening I felt I had been pulled through a wringer. As the pieces fell into place I began to realize that I had a life-time track record of failed relationships.

That evening, after coming to grips with God’s lesson, I felt it was time for a little rebuilding. So I opened the Bible to begin work on writing a devotional from this week's Lectionary verses, which turned out to be from Galatians. It seems that God wasn't finished with me yet because He now had me reading about the fruit of the Spirit. However, as I read, studied, and wrote, the verses that struck me most were those I entitled “Rotten Fruit.” That is where I found myself; not in the list of “Good Fruit.”

God holds mirrors before us when we need it most. He knew I was about to write this devotional and He wanted to make sure I got it right. I hope and pray that this confession brings out some truth others might be avoiding in their lives. Just because we have a passion for Christ, just because a vision seems clear and we lack patience to see it evolve, we are not given the freedom to act anyway we want. The way we interact with others is the second most important thing we will do in our lives – second only to our relationship with God. I pray that the next time a mirror comes my way a few more good fruit will be visible.

Closing Prayer:

Forgiving Lord, Thank you for holding a mirror before us so we are able to see more clearly the lessons you want us to learn. Please continue to remind us that we are “works in progress.” We may always be working hard and trying to do what seems to be the right thing but there is that tendency to stray. Without your constant attention, we will find ourselves adrift far from where we think we are going. Remind us constantly that it is your kingdom we are building, not ours. We thank you for your continuous love and the love of those friends who are willing to take a risk in our behalf. Through Jesus Christ we pray, Amen.

Inspired by Galatians 5:13 - 25

FUMC Devotionals

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