Family
In the last article we looked at love as the tie that binds a family together. In this article I want us to see that the family is to work together as a team. To help us picture this I want us to see it as we would a sports team. A sports team has an owner, coaches, and players. The owner of the family is God and, as owner, He sets the standards for His team. In the family the coaches are player/coaches. The Head coach is the husband and the assistant coach is the wife. The team is made up of the husband, the wife, and any children God may bless them with. There is one major difference. A sports team wins when it defeats the other teams. A family team wins relative to other families when it helps other families, by its example, to reach the same level of excellence as it has attained.
Our starting text is Deuteronomy 5:6-21 “I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage. Thou shalt have none other gods before me. Thou shalt not make thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the waters beneath the earth: Thou shalt not bow down thyself unto them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me, And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me and keep my commandments. Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain: for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain. Keep the sabbath day to sanctify it, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee. Six days thou shalt labour, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, nor thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thine ox, nor thine ass, nor any of thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates; that thy manservant and thy maidservant may rest as well as thou. And remember that thou wast a servant in the land of Egypt, and that the LORD thy God brought thee out thence through a mighty hand and by a stretched out arm: therefore the LORD thy God commanded thee to keep the sabbath day. Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. Thou shalt not kill. Neither shalt thou commit adultery. Neither shalt thou steal. Neither shalt thou bear false witness against thy neighbour. Neither shalt thou desire thy neighbour's wife, neither shalt thou covet thy neighbour's house, his field, or his manservant, or his maidservant, his ox, or his ass, or any thing that is thy neighbour's.”
God is the owner of the family and He sets the rules for the team. He is the owner because He created the team members and designed the team. The design makes the husband the head but subject to the Owner. The wife is the husband's assistant (help meet for him) and is subject to her husband. The children are the players in training for the next family team and are subject to the parents.
This structure is not very popular today. Everyone, while equal in value, is not equal in authority. This structure has worked since the beginning and still works today when it is used.
The Owner's rules are His commandments, judgments, and statutes. The Ten Commandments are the summary of His rules. They are to be kept because He is the Lord God. As God He knows the end from the beginning so His counsel is perfect.
The coaches, the husband and the wife, are to teach the whole team. Deuteronomy 6:1-9 is another long passage but it lays down the training schedule. “Now these are the commandments, the statutes, and the judgments, which the LORD your God commanded to teach you, that ye might do them in the land whither ye go to possess it: That thou mightest fear the LORD thy God, to keep all his statutes and his commandments, which I command thee, thou, and thy son, and thy son's son, all the days of thy life; and that thy days may be prolonged. Hear therefore, O Israel, and observe to do it; that it may be well with thee, and that ye may increase mightily, as the LORD God of thy fathers hath promised thee, in the land that floweth with milk and honey. Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.”
The owner's rules are not optional. They are to be taught by the coaches and obeyed by the whole team. The rules are to teach the fear of the Lord God so each team member will keep His statutes and commandments. This will prolong the days of each team member.
For the husband, the head coach, to properly perform his functions he must first love God with all his being. He must also have the words of the Lord in his heart. He must live by the owner's (God's) rules himself. His knowledge must be from the study of God's Word and from the practice of the principles in his own life.
He is responsible to teach the wife (the assistant coach). He is not to leave this responsibility to another, even to his pastor. I Corinthians 14:34-35 makes this clear: “Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.”
The context of these verses is important. This passage is dealing with the exercising of gifts for teaching the church. It has nothing to do with singing or taking part in a business meeting. Those who teach have authority over their students and women are not to be in authority over a man. Women are to teach women and children.
If they have questions about what the preacher says they are to ask their husbands at home. The husband is responsible to know the Word of God because he is to be the spiritual leader in the home.
The father is responsible to teach the Owner's rules to the children. He is to do it at all times and in everything he does. The rules are to be talked about when the family is seated together, as the husband goes about his affairs, in the evening and in the morning. They are to be seen in the husband's example in what he does (bind them on your hand), in the principles that guide him (Frontlets), and they are to be seen by the community (Gate and door post.
I am not going to take the space to give you biblical examples but I recommend you search the Scriptures for such examples. You might look in I Samuel 2 and 3 to see what happens when we don't follow God's rules, and in Hebrews 11:8-13 to see the results of following them.
God makes a promise to a faithful coach (husband) in Acts 16:27-33 “And the keeper of the prison awaking out of his sleep, and seeing the prison doors open, he drew out his sword, and would have killed himself, supposing that the prisoners had been fled. But Paul cried with a loud voice, saying, Do thyself no harm: for we are all here. Then he called for a light, and sprang in, and came trembling, and fell down before Paul and Silas, And brought them out, and said, Sirs, what must I do to be saved? And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house. And they spake unto him the word of the Lord, and to all that were in his house. And he took them the same hour of the night, and washed their stripes; and was baptized, he and all his, straightway.”
When the keeper of the prison saw the working of God he was struck with fear. This caused him to ask “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” The answer held two promises 1) if you will believe on the Lord Jesus Christ you will be saved, and 2) if you are the proper head of your house, your family will believe also. While there is no family plan of salvation, there is a promise that if we lead our family in the things of God, they will follow. We see that his family did believe and were baptized.
There are two conditions in this promise, 1) the head of the house must be changed by what he believes, 2) he must diligently teach his family. The jailor was concerned enough for his family to invite the preachers over so they could tell his family.
This will not be the last article in this series, but if I did stop here you would have all you need to have godly families. A family is a team designed by God. If it functions according to the design it will be a little piece of heaven on earth. When the husband fulfills his responsibility to God the wife will find it easy to fulfill her responsibilities to her husband. When the parents function together according to God's design the children will learn that godliness is the normal and best way of life. We have God's promise that if we do these thing our families will be saved.
Dr. Pierre Coovert was saved at the age of 17 over 50 years ago. He has been a missionary, pastor, and evangelist for more than 30 years. He is greatly concerned about the state of modern Christianity and his desire is to see Christians return to the righteousness of the Scriptures. See his blog at http://awaketorighteousness.com
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