Marriage

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Do you feel stuck in a bad, dysfunctional marriage? You and your partner have been to counseling, seminars, read books, know all of the Bible verses, and have really tried to make it work, but it just isn't coming together?

Forty percent of even Christian marriages are ending in divorce, but of those that are still together, some(not all) might feel stuck in a bad relationship because they do not consider divorce to be an option, on biblical grounds, and on other factors that might enter in. As a result these couples live together physically but are emotionally detached! They may be sharing the same house but are living like two incompatible roommates. There may be verbal, emotional, or even physical abuse. There may be wrong concepts of headship and submission.(Ephesians 5:22-24). In many instances there could be an attitude of "passive acceptance."

Praise God for all of the great Christian marriages, but for those that are far from that, these pointers may be helpful. I am not a marriage counselor but I have gained insights from 6 years of counseling and personal experience.

1. You must stay focused on God and His
Word.
2. You must seek help for yourself.
3. You must change what you can in yourself
and the situation.
4. You must set boundaries for your own
personal health, safety and emotional
well being.
5. You must, as much as lies within you,
pursue peace and harmony. (Romans 12)
6. Get involved in a local church that will
help support you. Get out of one that
has an attitude of condemnation.
7. You must not allow your children to get
caught in the middle of your battles or
feel that they "have to take care of
their parents."
8. Do not allow your dysfunctional marriage
to become a generational curse--passing
down negative and destructive behaviors
or ways of dealing with difficult people
or circumstances, to your children. A
generational curse is a dysfunction that
has become a norm.
9. You must learn to communicate without
name calling, putting down the other
person, or digging up the past.
10. Try to think of the good in the other
person, and to make the best of a bad
relationship

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