Encouragement

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On November 23, 2010 after I took a sleeping pill, as I always do, I was woken up by the Holy Spirit. I was struck by this vivid view of a Holy presence. I knew it was God, I felt Him. He told me that I had to reach out to my Grandfather, in His name. I was instructed that God wanted me to share the gift Jesus gave us when He died on the cross. I know it sounds crazy, by truthfully, I was consumed by awe. I knew what I had to do.

Before I share the letter I wrote, I feel obligated to share what kind of man my grandfather is. He was always a hard worker, I don’t think he ever took a day off when he was working, and never put his feet up after he retired. He always had some kind of project going on. He re-built and restored antique cars and took his time with the intricacies of each part. He amazed me at his attention to detail, he was an artist. He was always generous with his money to those he loved. He is quite well off and has worked for EVERY dime he has. He lost his wife to a tragic turn after routine surgery. He was harden toward God and did not want to go to HIS house to worship anymore. He hated to talk about God, unless it was in a joke or in a cynical way. He believed that when you die, you die, and nothing else. He is an atheist, with no hope in Christ. I love my Grampa; he is so special to me. He is pushing 90 and has had to give up his passions of rebuilding cars due to Parkinson’s disease and cataracts in his eyes. He still drives, though it risks lives every time he gets behind the wheel. He is a very strong man and does not want to give up the life he knows – the life of bitterness and anger. My mom can count on her hands how many times she heard him say, “I love you”, as she was growing up. I have always heard him say “I love you”, in words, in actions, and hugs. I love my Grampa, but felt like Moses, given a job too hard to handle. Okay it was not a whole country, but the amount of people he got angry at for sharing the Gospel; I did not want to be on the receiving end of that. I surround the letter with prayer and asked the Holy Spirit to go with it. – I believe HE did.

Grampa,

I am better at writing than talking, so I to share a few things with you. I never feel like I have the chance to say things to you that I want to because the kids or other people are around.

The first thing I want to say is THANK YOU! Thank you for being the ONLY constant male in my life… you are the only man that has known me my whole life and has NEVER let me down. I love you for that. Thank you for all of your stories, ones I hope I will never forget. I love hearing about your life and the things you did. I love that I have wonderful memories at your house for all the holidays and parties. I love that my kids now have many of their own now. Thank you for your help financially when I needed it, you have helped me out some tight spots.

I also want to tell you how much you are loved. How blessed I am to have my Grampa with me for so many years and how awesome it is that all of my kids know you and love you. I am so happy that you are part the kids’ life… I am BLESSED. I will go on a limb and tell you that not only am I blessed, but Maria and all the Browns, too. We love you!

I ask that if you love me you will continue on to this next part. PLEASE! Gramp, I know that you don’t like to hear this stuff, but I have to ask, what do you have to lose? If I am wrong, nothing changes, BUT if I am right EVERYTHING changes. So please just listen for a few minutes. People ask me how I can find joy and peace in my life, when I grew up in a broken home, many times over, I always struggling with money on a daily basis, the day-to-day stuff, and my answer is that I have joy in my heart, because of my faith in God. Now I know that my mom has tried to talk to you about this, and probably some other people, so I am walking lightly on this. A few weeks ago I was down at your house with Maria, and you started talking about the mountains and the sky. You were saying that it was hard for you to understand how the mountains got to be the way they are. The answer is simple; it was the work of God. Gramp, I love you so much, I have known you my whole life and would love to be able to spend eternity with you. I believe that God sent us Jesus to die for our sins, so we can have eternal life in Heaven, for all who believe. By simply admitting that we are not perfect and are sinners and we need a savior, asking for forgiveness and allowing God to be a part of your life you will be guaranteed a seat in Heaven forever. As I said in the beginning, if I am wrong nothing changes, but if I am right, everything does. I will love you forever and am so scared of what will happen to you if you don’t heed my words. You are the most important man to me, and I love you! Please don’t be mad at me, I just love you so much!

I love you Gramp, FOREVER!
Penny


I mailed it the week before Christmas, as I was so afraid that he would be mad at me and not want to talk to me again. I was nervous. But I did and I believe that my words were given to me from God.

Five days after I mailed the letter to my Grampa, I had a dream. Which, I feel like I need to add, I don’t ever remember my dreams. I have no recollection when I wake up in the morning. My dream was that my Grampa was dressed in a handsome suit (I think he has worn a suit 15 times in his life), he was walking upright (he has been hunched over for almost 10 years, and getting worse) right toward me and he smiled. He took my hand and spun me a round and danced with me, like a ballroom kind of dance. I have to say, I have never danced with my Grampa, something I feel sad about after this dream. But it seemed so real to me. I had an ear to ear grin and felt like I was on clouds. It was vivid to me. I was wearing a navy blue dress that spun in the air (I don’t own a dress like this). I felt so happy in my dream. I woke up that morning and felt a sudden sense of peace. I prepared for Christmas and did not think about it again. Christmas Eve, our family’s biggest holiday, when my Grampa came in, I walked over to him and kissed him. I had a little knot thinking he was going to be angry. I said, “Merry Christmas” and turned around. I felt his cane kind of hit me in the lower leg, I spun around and he smiled. Now that I look back, the way my dressed flowed in the dream was similar to the way my dressed flowed when I spun to look at my Grampa. The next day when I saw him, I talked to him a few times and each time I was more comfortable. He seemed different to me. His demeanor was different. What does all this mean? I am not sure, but I do know that God does, “and that is good enough for me”.

I continue to pray. I am resolved that I did my part and the rest is up to the Holy Spirit. I pray that he is surrounded by angels and is consumed by the Holy Spirit. I feel God’s peace. I just pray that he will be in Heaven with me forever and we can get that dance together.

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