Bible Studies

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So,
you received the
message
with joy
from the
Holy Spirit
in spite of
the
severe suffering
it brought
you.
[1 Thessalonians 1:6]
*********************
"WHAT WAS GOIN'
ON, LORD? WERE
THEY GETTIN' EATEN
BY LIONS....?"

[PATIENT VOICE.]
"Who,
child?"

"These.....THE'THA..."
(Munching a mouthful
of peanut-butter sandwich*.)
"....THE'THA......"
(Swallow hard.)
(Shout to the ceiling.)
"These.....THES'SA.....
LONIANS!"

[SMILE!]
[NOD.]
"Very good,
My child."

(Taking another bite
of peanut-butter sandwich**.)
"....THO?"

[NOD.]
[SMILE.]
"Tho-what,
My child?"

(Swallow some more
peanut-butter.)
"SO?
WHAT HAPPENED?
HOW WERE THOSE
THESSALONIANS
SUFFERING.......
BEING FORCED TO
LISTEN TO AMERICAN
POLITICIANS ON THE
RADIO.......?"

[CHUCKLING.]
"Wrong time-zone,
My child."

(Laugh!)
(Swallow a swig of
rootbeer***
-with-peanut-butter.)
"Oy vey to THAT, huh?"

[CHUCKLING.]
[NOD.]

(Chewing more peanut
butter sandwich****.)
"So........WHAT was
with these GUYS?
If they WERE gettin'
eaten by LIONS....
I don't think a letter
from PAUL...
would'a really
cut the mustard,
Ya know what I MEAN?"

[PATIENT SQUINT.]
"What do you mean,
My beloved."

"Oh."
(Squint.)
"I keep FORGETTING."
(Look up at the ceiling.)
"Y'ur FIRST LANGUAGE...
isn't ENGLISH."
(Grimace.)
"...It was that Horrible-Hebrew*****."

[BURST OUT LAUGHING!]

(Thoughtful squint,
while swallowing some
more peanut-butter.)
"It MEANS.........like,
YA KNOW: if y'ur
gettin' chomped on by
a hungry LION....in the
middle of a Roman ARENA....,
a nice LETTER
from your CLERGYMAN...
probably isn't gonna lift
your SPIRITS a whole lot...
Ya know what I MEAN?"

[NODDING.]
[PATIENT SIGH.]
"Yes,
My beloved.
I understand."

(Thoughtful pause.)
(Sip some more rootbeer.)
"SO?
Ya ain't gonna TELL
ME,
ARE Ya?"

[CHUCKLING.]
"Tell you what,
My beloved?"

(Impatient squirm.)
(Squint up at the ceiling.)
"WHY THOSE THESSSA..
THESSA......"
(Pucker lips, full of
peanut-butter.)
"THESSALONIANS......
were SUFFERING SO
MUCH?"

[PATIENT GAZE.]

(LAUGH!)
"MAYBE, THEY
WERE just DREADING......."
(Pause.)

[SOLEMN NOD.]
"What,
My child?"

(Smile up at the ceiling.)
(Shout.)
"....THESSALONIANS TWO!"

[PATIENT SIGH.]
"Oy vey 'z mir."
*************************
In this
way,
you
imitated
both us
and
the Lord.
[1 Thessalonians 1:6.]
_________________

*And, the author's got high cholesterol. too.
So, she dies ten minutes sooner...
so what? Stupid doctors and INSURANCE
COMPANIES..
just want everybody to LIVE long -
so they can get more
SHECKELS!
**The really high-cholesterol-kind:
Walmart brand.
***The sugary-kind:
also Walmart brand.
****Potato-bread:
Amish-made. It's REALLY
good.
*****The author was forced to
suffer in Hebrew school,
in Philadelphionica,
as a youngster.


Dedicated to Denise's
Precepts class.

And,
Lynn.

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