Christian Living

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"By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?" - 1 John 3:16-17

No question that the opposite of love is hate. However it seems the Lord equates hatred with apathy. Not loving is not caring.

I would say "not caring" is the same as murder. One can murder a spirit, leaving the body left alive.

Here is how:

1. When they see you are obviously going through something, tell them it's nothing. Yes, that is lying, but that is the point.

2. When they have made a careful lucid assessment of a situation, based on a patient passing of time, tell them they are not seeing things accurately.

3. When they want to share something with you, make them wait.

4. After they have shared something overwhelming and emotionally traumatizing, tell them, "Are you sure?" In other words, say something that, in essence, is like saying, "Either you're stupid", "insane", or "lying". However do not use those exact words.

5. Disregard their age and possible level of experience.

6. When they share how they feel about you, minimize it. Better yet, ignore it. Do not do the respectable thing of telling them you do not feel like they do. That would indicate respect of their person. Tell yourself, "I just want to let them down easy."

7. Acknowledge their assets and gifts as quirks, especially if you cannot do what they can.

Biblical, brotherly love is giving what one needs, even if they do not want it. That may mean a correction, redirection or just some hard-to-hear truth because you recognize they are in the Lord's hands and they will recover. It also may mean lending an ear, along with some time.

Once in a great while it might mean giving something more physically substantial.

I have seen many of us be quick to let someone know they are an enemy. I have also seen someone avoid letting someone know they are only a friend. In other words, we may have shown more respect to an enemy than someone far less hostile. We might have been less apathetic toward someone against us, as opposed to someone who sought to show interest or even just support.

If we have been this way, we have done more than murdered a friendship. We have murdered a friend. The perfect crime with no visible weapon.

Almost.

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