Holidays

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Valentine’s Day again! A day that warms the hearts of people, and stirs the memories of many Valentine’s Day celebrants to the past, some on wings of warmth and some on wings of bittersweet memories. Sadly, not all love stories end well, but there are so many that do. There is almost always some current delight in the Day, even for those of us who have lived Valentine Days by the score.

This season triggers my thoughts and I’m thinking of the proposals of marriage that I have received. There were a few, but only four of them are worth telling, and they were not the ones I accepted, except for one of them.

The funniest proposal I received was at a restaurant. I was working late evenings. It was Friday, the bars had closed and everyone was there to eat a really early breakfast. Two very loud gents sat together. One of them had recently lost his wife to cancer. This was his first trip out since her death and he was quite drunk, but not ‘that’ drunk, I was soon to learn. They both talked to the top of their voices telling me that the widowed gentleman would like to marry me. They were loudly announcing all the things the recently widowed man owned. He had land and was quite comfortable financially, they said. He had a new brick home with three bedrooms and a lot of other amenities. I would really be a smart woman if I would marry him, they told me. What was I to say? I did not wish to be harsh with him, especially because I understood the sensitivity of his grieving. Then it came to me, raising my left hand and holding up five fingers, I said, “Well, I’ll tell you what I’ve got. I’ve got five kids.” The not so drunk gentleman, said, “Oh no! My house is not that big! Just forget it!

The sweetest proposal of marriage that I was offered came to me while I was walking in the hallway of a hospital. I worked in a Surgical ICU. Sometimes it was necessary to go the waiting room to usher in a family member. I had found that to be necessary for three days in a row. I noticed that every time I went to the waiting room there were two children there, a boy and a girl. They were about eight and nine years of age. They would point at me and whisper to each other. I wondered why, but in that setting, you do not linger long on some questions. On the third day, as I was going back to the Unit, I heard a girl’s voice calling “Miss!” When I turned, it was the children walking toward me. They came very close and asked me if I was married. I told them no. The girl said, “Well, our mother is here, she is dying, and we have decided that
we want you to be our mother. Would you marry our daddy and be our mother?” What to say? I did not know how to answer these precious children. I told them that I did not know their daddy. They advised me that he was in the waiting room and they could introduce me to him. “Well,” I said, “I would have to be in love with your daddy, and since I do not know him it would take a while, and we’d need to see if he liked me too.” I used the very true excuse that I needed to get back to my patients right now. I do not know how that turned out. I pray they got a good mother, or that maybe they got to keep their mother. There are so many stories inside a hospital so that you cannot know them all.

The third proposal in my memory was from an absolutely handsome Army Officer. The first time I saw him I served his table at the restaurant at which I worked. He had several of his men there, all dressed in uniform. I could hear him instructing them how to order, about proper table etiquette, and how to be polite and gentlemanly, and about proper tipping, among other things. He was one of the finest of gentlemen that I have ever met. We did not talk a lot. He came alone fairly often, and sometimes would socialize with other customers, sometimes he would just sit saying nothing, and sometimes he talked with me. I learned that he was 35 years old and was one of the youngest of soldiers, at the time of his appointment to the rank of Officer. He was a member of one of the notable Special Forces. I learned that he wanted to be married but could not find a suitable woman to his liking. He said it was because the women his age were too brash, and not the ladies he was looking to marry. I never took any of it personal because it never occurred to me that he could possibly have an interest in me.

One evening he said that he needed to talk with me, and that it was urgent. When my shift was over we sat down to talk. To my astonishment, he immediately said, “I want to marry you.” I reminded him that there was 8 years difference in our ages, to which he replied that his mother was 10 years older than his father and it was a wonderful marriage. He said that in the near future he would be going to on a military mission and he wanted me to get to know him before he left. He wanted me to know if I could love him in return. Sadly, I was not able to give an answer at that time. I could not say, “Yes” or “No,” I just sat there. I had never mentioned to him the reason for my previous marriage ending in divorce. It was too shameful to say that I’d been physically abused. He took the silence as a “no.” He turned, and walked away. I moved to another State a few weeks later, and he went to Granada. I never saw him again. I wanted so very much to say yes, but I was frozen with fear. I regret that even to this day. I hope he made it through the battle. I muse however, at the pure sincerity of his offer. Not one kiss and no physical contact, not even holding hands, just his decision that he choose me and wondered if I could love him. I have no doubt that I would have loved him. That proposal is the most heart warming proposal I ever received. I am warmed to know that such a man of character and honor would choose me for his wife, that he would offer himself to me for a lifetime.

The fourth offer of marriage, of which I spoke, was also from a true gentleman whose proposal of marriage I did accept. He also is a man of impeccable character and honor and He remains the Lover of my soul.

I correlate in many ways, the proposal of the Army Officer to the offer that Jesus made to me. He chose me. He wants me to get to know Him. He wants me to love Him. He is a true Gentleman. He is One that will not force me to accept Him. He simply offers Himself to me for a relationship, forever. That is pure. That is full of respect. I am so happy that I did not say “No,” or “Not yet,” or just sit there, saying nothing. If He is asking you for your hand in marriage, say “Yes” very quickly. You will never be sorry that you did.

Ramona 07/27/2010

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