Illness

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Titanic was found beneath its rusty disguise,
Another prized relic
Saved from an oceanic demise.
The world was consumed
By this awesome sight,
They all stared at the pictures
Brought by Nautile with delight.

I feel like that relic
Pulled from its watery grave,
Being poked, prodded, and scanned,
Trying to be, oh, so brave.
Examined by doctors
From my bow to my stern,
All so that these men of science can learn.

And what have they learned
Subjecting me to their many devices?
That through all of their testing,
It just never suffices.
My eyes, brain, and larynx
Still wearing their masks.
They do as they please
And even though we all ask,
They just keep on with their silence,
Not making a sound,
Allowing God's mystery
To remain underground.

Like in the words of King David,
I wish I could fly,
On the wings of a dove
To my home far away,
To a place where I could be living so free,
From examinations and tests
A place where I can sample
My life at its best.

I expect no phoney dream world
Seen through rose-colored glasses,
Free from stress, pain, and trouble,
Secluded from the masses.
Instead, how I long to be part of the throng,
Entering God's House
With a triumphal song
Of God's grace
And of His mighty power,
To be standing strong and secure
At the Lord's ordained hour.

Pruned and deeply cut to the quick,
The Lord has been with me
Through thin and through thick.
He tends me with care
And does whatever He pleases
To make lush, healthy fruit
Growing free from diseases,

So here I wait
Like a relic shrouded in mystery,
Forty plus years
And so full of history;
With illness, and sadness
And many a fear,
Hoping that some day
That all will be made clear.

Until then I wait
For some kind of clue,
I'll always keep busy, I know what to do.
Developing patience,
To live peacefully with all that I meet,
To pray unceasingly
And remain at His feet.
By searching His heart
For what my mission might be,
I'll trust Him to guide me
Even now, when my heart
Feels, oh, so far away.

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