Short Stories

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Jesus said,
'Take away
the stone.'
[John 11:39]
***********************
(It's a few days after
Lazarus has come back home.
He's tired, but not from
his re-awakening; Martha
has been feeding him non-stop,
and friends keep
coming over to talk about
what happened. He has the
desire to go on vacation,
but he doesn't know what
a vacation is........oy vey.)
______________________
(KNOCK! KNOCK!)

(Muffled, bossy female voice.)
"LAZARUS?
CAN YOU GO GET.....THAT?
I'M BUSY IN THE KITCHEN!"

(Kvetchy, whiny voice.)
"CAN'T MARY GET IT?
I'M TIRED OF ANSWERING
THE DOOR!
ALL DAY, FOR THREE AND
A HALF DAYS!
I'M SICK OF ALL THE
WHOOPLAH!"

(Louder, bossy voice from
kitchen.)
"MARY'S STILL OUT WITH
THE WATER!"
(Loud banging around
in the kitchen.)
"GO ANSWER THE DOOR,
LAZARUS! I KNOW IT'S
FOR YOU!
GO.........
ANSWER........
IT.......!"

(Loud whiny muttering.)
(Scruffled sounds,
as inside-sandals
are being put on.
Martha insists that everybody
has three pairs of sandals:
one to wear around the house,
one to wear to market and
about town, and one for
synagogue.)
(Kvetchy sigh.)
"I'M COMIN'!
I'M COMIN'........!"

(Muffled shout from
the other side of the
door. Scruffling sounds.
A dog barks.)
"HURRY UP, LAZARUS!
THE WIFE'S HERE GOT
A BIG PLATE OF STUFF
FOR YOU! OPEN UP!"

(Whiny voice.)
(Slowly slip-sliding over
to the door in house-sandals.)
"ALRIGHT!
ALRIGHT!
And, you better not
let Snut'kins INSIDE!
Ya know how MARTHA
FEELS ABOUT ANIMALS
IN THE HOUSE!"

(Muffled barking and
whining from the other
side of the door.)

(Sigh.)
(Open door.)
(Unexited voice.)
"Oh. Hi, Plump'snik.
Hey, Ber'thah."
(Pause.)
"SNUT'KINS! QUIT
LICKIN' MY SANDALS!
YOU KNOW THESE ARE
MY GOOD ONES!"

(Excited barking.)

(Nasally, bossy lady's voice.)
"Uh, UH....LAZARUS!
THOSE ARE YOUR
HOUSE-SANDALS!
MARTHA WOULDN'T LET
YOU WEAR YOUR GOOD
ONES IN THE HOUSE!"

(Muffled shout from the
kitchen.)
"Is that YOU, BER'THAH?
COME IN HERE! WHAT'D
YA BRING? IT SMELLS
GOOD, WHATEVER IT IS!"

(Nasally, bossy lady's voice,
only much louder. The voice
becomes a scream in Lazarus's
left ear.)
"IT'S MY BEST CREAMED
AND BREADED FISH CAKES,
MARTHA! I'LL JUST LET
THE MEN SET OUTSIDE,
FOR AWHILE!
POOR LAZARUS...
LOOKS LIKE HE NEEDS
SOME MORE SUN!"

(Muffled shout from the
kitchen.)
"THAT'S A GOOD IDEA,
YOU TWO! AND, TAKE
SNUT'KINS OUT WITH
YOU! O'....KAY........?"

(Kvetchy sigh.)
"OKAY...........!
Come ON, Plump'snik.
Let's go on, outside.......
COME ON, SNUT'KINS!
COME on, BOY! COME on!"

(Muffled shout from the
kitchen.)
"AND......LAZARUS!
TAKE YOUR HEAD COVERING!
I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET TOO
SUNBURNED!"

(Sigh.)
"OKAY! OKAY!
Come ON, SNUT'KINS!
LET'S GO, BOY!"

(Wagging tail knocks over
a half-empty* cup of water,
onto the spik-n-span,
just polished,
neat, tiled floor.)

(Muffled shout from the
kitchen, a bit bossier-sounding
and more aggravated.)
"WHAT WAS THAT,
LAZARUS?
WHAT WAS THAT?"

(Whiny tone.)
"NOTHIN', MARTHA!
JUST NOTHIN'......!
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!"

(Muffled shout,
albeit somewhat warmer-toned.)
"WELL.....IF SNUT'KINS
KNOCKED OVER SOMETHING, JUST CLEAN
IT UP!"

(Sigh.)
(Look around for one of
Martha's clean-house-rags.)
(Spy one over by the
neatly dust-cover-covered table,
by the side of the
immaculately-laid couch.)
(Yell towards the kitchen.)
"FOUND ONE!
IT'S OKAY!
PLUMP'SNIK'S GETTIN'
IT! IT'S OKAY!"

(Muffled shout: very
bossy, and stern-but-in-
a-loving-motherly-way.)
"GOOD! NOW, GO OUTSIDE!
AND, PUT SNUT'KINS ON A ROPE!
I DON'T WANT HIM
GOIN' OVER, AND CHASING
MRS. WEIDLEBERG'S CHICKENS
LIKE HE DID LAST TIME!
OKAY...........?"

(Whiny voice.)
"OKAY........!"

(Another muffled, bossy
shout from the kitchen.)
"And.....SHUT THE DOOR'TO!
I DON'T WANT ANY FLIES
GETTIN' IN!"

(Whiny yell, toward
the kitchen.)
"OKAY!
WHEN'S MARY GETTIN'
HOME?"

(More muffled sounds
of banging around, in the
kitchen. Muffled, bossy
womens' voices.)
"NOT FOR A WHILE, YET!
I'VE GIVEN HER A WHOLE
LIST OF CHORES TO DO!
SHE'S GOTTA TAKE SOME
WATER JUGS OVER TO MRS. SIMPELBERG!
SHE JUST HAD HER BABY, THIS
MORNING!"

(Whiny yell.)
"OH? WHEN DID THAT
HAPPEN? HOW COME
I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THAT?"

(Muffled shout from the
kitchen, now somewhat
exasperated, though
good-natured.)
"BECAUSE, LAZARUS!
I KNOW EVERYTHING,
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD!
I'VE BEEN UP.....
SINCE THE .....FOURTH HOUR!
........WITH THE MIDWIVES!
I'M THE ONE WHO BROUGHT
ALL......THE BLANKETS!
I'M THE ONE, WHO WIPED
MRS. SIMPELBERG'S BROW,
AND SHOOED HER YOUNG
HUSBAND OUT THE DOOR!
IT WAS A BOY! THEY'RE
GONNA NAME HIM
LUMP'SCHKAH:
AFTER HIS GRANDFATHER!
NOW, GET!
YOU THREE GET
OUTSIDE! I CAN HEAR
A FLY BUZZING, RIGHT
NOW! GET THAT DOOR
CLOSED! NOW, GET!"

(Whiny sigh.)
"Come on, Plump'snik.
You too, Snut'kins."

(Whiny sounds: doggy-like.)

(Sound of wooden door closing.
More muffled sounds
of ladies talking, loud and
bossy-like, in the kitchen.)

(Scraping sounds of two
wooden patio chairs being
moved over, under Martha's
well-tended, leafy shade tree.
Whiny sounds of a pooch
being tethered,
to the middle wooden post
of the house patio. Sounds
of loud, scruffy barking
toward Mrs. Weidleberg's chicken pen.)
"HUSH, SNUT'KINS!
YOU WANNA GET US
IN TROUBLE?"

(Whimpy male voice, from
one of the wooden, dust-
cloth-covered chairs.)
"Come here, Snut'kins.
Come here....by, Pappa!"

(Loud whimpering.)
(Loud slurping sound from
a small clean bowl
of cool water,
by the side of the
well-swept,
neatly, and
homey-decorated,
house patio. Above
the wooden archway
to the freshly-scrubbed
front door,
is a pretty white and
blue tile with the
Hebrew inscripture:
'SHALOM!'**)

"Who's the BOWL, for?"

(Yawn.)
(Scratching head,
grimmacing.)
(Pull scratchy head-cover off.)
(Turn to peer back at the
house, rather guiltily.)
"HUH? Oh! It's
for the CAT! Martha won't
let 'im INSIDE. She says
all that FUR gets on the
FURNITURE!"

(Whimpy nod.)
(Tug a little on Snut'kins'
rope. Yawn, too.)
"What's his NAME?"

"WHO?
OH!"
(Pause.)
"MUNCH'AH!"

(Whimpy nod.)
(Pause: squinting
up at a little bird
chirping up in the
shade tree.)
"So, what HAPPENED,
Lazarus? What HAPPENED,
over... THERE?"

(Whiny sigh.)
"Oy......!
PLUMP'SNIK!
Do I have to TELL YOU,
too?"

(Whimpy, nasally voice.)
"Aw! Come ON, LAZARUS!
You've told.....EVERYBODY
ELSE! And.....
I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND!"

(Kvetchy shrug.)
(Lean over, to scratch
Snut'kins behind one
limp, scruffy ear.)
"NOTHIN', Plump'snik!
NOTHIN'!
I just WOKE up, is all!"

(Whimpy voice.)
"I'm THIRSTY!"

(Sigh.)
"WAIT a MINUTE....
I'll be right BACK."

(Whimpy nod.)

(A loud, sudden
bark towards Mrs. Weidleberg's hen pen.)
(Louder-than-usual, nasal
voice.)
"SNUT'KINS! STOP IT!"

(Kvetchy muttering.)
(Sound of wooden chair
being scaped back, and
the sound of a wooden door
being opened, and then closed.)

(A minute passes.)

(Sounds of sandals shuffling,
wooden door opening. A
muffled shout can be heard
from inside the kitchen.)
"AND.......WEAR YOUR
HEAD-COVERING,
LAZARUS!"

(Sound of door closing.)
"OKAY! OKAY!"

(Standing by Plump'snik's
wood chair: balancing two
big cups of water, and a
small wooden bowl.)
"HERE!
And, here's some FIGS, too!"

(Whimpy, nasal voice.)
"OH, GOOD!"

(Scaping chair back.)
(Scruffing off house-sandals.)
(Turn to look back at the
house, for a moment.)
(Pull off scratchy head-covering.)

(Nasal voice: partly
muffled by the munching
of a plump, juicy fig.)
"So, what HAPPENED?"
(Pause.)
"Hey, SNUT'KINS!
NO!
THEY'LL MAKE YOU SICK!
NO!
NO, BOY!"

(Loud whimpering.)

(Long sigh.)
(Gently nudge Snut'kins'
big brown nose away from
the fig-bowl.)
(Grab a sticky fig.)
(Sigh.)
"I TOLD you, PLUMP'SNIK!
NOTHING!"

(Mouth full of juicy fig.
Some juice squirts out.)
"Hey, come on!
There MUST'A been
SOMETHIN'! That's
all .....people 'a been TALKIN'
about!"

(Wave hand, grumpily,
at road toward the town.)
"AW! It's just all TALK!
It was NOTHIN'!"

(Gulping some water.)
(Spill some,
down shirt-tunic.)
(Clumsily wipe tunic.)
"Aw, come on!
TELL ME!
You can tell ME!
I'm your FRIEND!"

(Sigh.)
"PLUMP'SNIK!
I'm TELLIN' you!
I was feelin' real, real
sick....and, then I fell
ASLEEP...is all!"

(Mouth full of another
sticky-sweet fig.)
(Squint real curiously,
toward friend.)
"YEAH?
And, THEN WHAT?"

(Big shrug.)
"DUNNO........"
(Thoughtful pause.)
(Grab another sweet-smelling
fig. Hold it up, to his nose.
Sniff, and then put it
to his mouth.)
"I JUST......."
(Thoughtful grimace.)
(Pause.)
"I just....WOKE UP,
is ALL........"

"But.......HOW?"

(Lazarus stops chewing,
for a moment. He looks
serious and intense, as
if he suddenly feels very sad.
He looks off, down the
dusty road; the noonday's
sun is beginning to cast
a soft light over the tiny
orchard grove near Mr.
Weidleberg's barn. Two
plump, tawney-colored
milking goats are gnawing
at a low-lying, white blossoming
plant near the neatly-kept
barn. It's a peaceful scene.
Lazarus smiles, thoughtfully.)
"I dunno, Plump'snik.....
I just dunno."
(Smile, again: this time,
up at the softly moving
afternoon clouds. A gentle
breeze ruffles the edges
of his fine, brown hair.)
"Right before I woke up......
I just heard....."
(Turn back, to his old friend.)
(Quietly whisper, as if
in awe.)
"...His Voice....
calling.....
my name."
*************************
Jesus said
to them,
'Loose him,
and let
him go.'
[John 11:44]


____________________
*The author is a pessimist.
**'WELCOME!'


Dedicated to
my best friend
from Williams Avenue,
when I was four years old:
Bobbie... (Roberta) Selkow's mother.

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