Marriage

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God is calling women and men to influence the world and help rebuild the foundations of our families in the manner that God has purposed. Husbands and wives can influence others by their example and bring about changes in the family structure in our communities, our country, and globally.

MARRIAGE TABLE
Marriage is like a three-legged table designed to support the family. The husband is one leg. The wife is one leg. Jesus forms the essential third leg needed to support the family table. Three legs is the minimum number needed for a table to stand or support anything. Two legs will not provide enough support.

When the table sits on an uneven surface it can wobble. When the husband leg wobbles, it falls to the wife and Jesus to be the strength to continue holding up the table. Wives must become the strength they desire in a husband. Wives must become the reinforcing stimulus with Christ to reestablish the position of husbands.

For many of us, our family tables are in the dead cockroach position. Flat on our backs with legs sticking up. It is the only position available to the table with only two legs. With only the wife-leg and the Jesus-leg the family table still lacks sufficient support. With only the husband-leg and Jesus-leg the family table could struggle to remain a family. With only the husband and wife to support it, the family table can bear little weight and may struggle to stay intact or claim salvation.

Sometimes a table is wobbly depending upon where it is placed. One of the legs may be lacking the necessary length to reach an uneven surface. When tilted for the leg to reach a solid foundation, then another leg may not reach a solid enough surface and the entire stability of the table is threatened.

When one leg is not able to be used because of impairment or an uneven surface, it falls to the other two legs to be the strength and stabilizers of the family table.

To become useful and serve God’s purpose
the family requires all three supports,
husband, wife, and Christ.

FAMILY TABLE REPAIR
It is very difficult for women to nurture the family God has purposed without sufficient support. Wives must be strong and powerful and step up to the task of repairing the husband leg.

Husbands seem to understand their need to be strong when there are difficulties. They usually immediately try to “fix” their wife. The instinct to “repair” the wife is right, even if their methods are questionable.
Wives seem to believe they are not called to be strong. Their first thought is often how their own lack or deficiency caused the wobble. Much of the time wives would rather convince themselves they can support the family table by themselves to avoid the chore of repairing. The thought of repairing or fixing becomes desirable only after abandoning other solutions that do not work.

Holding up a table without solid support is always temporary, never a permanent solution. We cannot saw the leg off, for then we end up in the dead cockroach position. When life becomes wobbly on an uneven surface, wives must support and repair the wobble. If all three legs are strong we are secure that our family will remain standing.

Peter tells us wives are to be examples to their husbands.

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; --I Peter 3:1

As wives, we seem to misinterpret our position of strength in the family. The only solution is for wives to use their strength, power, and influence to step up to the task of repairing husband-legs.

GOD'S CALL
God is calling women, and especially wives, to claim their strength, power, and influence over the forces attempting to destroy families. God desires His family, our families, all families to have solid support and firm foundations. Wives have a responsibility and a commission from God. Be the stabilizer with Christ to balance the family.

Women are called to be strong, humble, and wise. We are not called to take our husband’s place, just as he is not called to take ours. We are called to guard and preserve our husband’s position, treasure his value, and accept him for who he is.

The exact qualities we want our husband to have towards us are the very qualities we need to exhibit in order for our husband to feel secure in his position. Become a mirror in which your husband can see the reflection of himself and Christ. Accept, love, inspire, value, and elevate him until he becomes a mirror for you.

HONOR AND RESPECT
Sarah is our first example of the behavior and values of a godly woman joined to a husband who “appears” to have gone off the deep end. When Abraham and Sarah were very old and Abraham got all excited about God’s promise to have a son, Sarah did not make fun of him or put him down to others. Most women would have frankly called him an “old fool” and referred to him as such to the neighbor.

Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, After I am waxed old shall I have pleasure,
my lord being old also? --Genesis 18:12

Sarah laughed to herself, yet even in her own private thoughts Abraham was “my lord”, a title of honor and respect.

Wives, address your husbands with respect. Refer to your husband with honor and respect to your children. Speak of your husband with respect to others.

WAKE UP, WIVES
Paul did not tell wives “Your husband WILL love you”, he told wives to submit themselves as unto the Lord.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands,
as unto the Lord. --Ephesians 5:22

Wake up, wives, submission does not mean doormat. Wives need courage to resolve conflicts, not shove them under the rug of avoidance.

Peter reminds us we are the daughters of Sarah and must bestow honor without fear upon our husbands.

Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord:
whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well,
and are not afraid with any amazement.--I Peter 3:6

Wives have a duty to model self-respect to their daughters AND sons. This means using strength in our position with Christ to stand against unjust tyranny within the family. Conflicts can be resolved with respect and become an instrument of training for children.

WAKE UP, HUSBANDS
Paul did not tell husbands, “Your wife will submit to you”, he told husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church.

Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; --Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, submit yourself to God. Leaders are submissive. Dictators are demagogues. The highest authority is God - not man. Peter admonishes husbands to be smart and honor their wives.

Husbands validate your wives. Be willing to ask your wife to share with you what behavior in you causes her to feel devalued or lack self-esteem. This is honoring your wife.

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. --I Peter 3:7

OBEDIENCE TO GOD
Our obedience to God has nothing to do with the actions of our spouse. Obedience to God is not just doing what God directs us to do. Obedience is also NOT DOING what God has NOT directed us to do.

Obedience is an action - submission is an attitude.

Demands of obedience deny a wife the gift of submission. Something demanded cannot be a gift. Disrespect denies a husband the honor and power needed to love as Christ. God’s desire is for all His children to be honored.

Without honor and power we become fearful and feel threatened. We lash out at the nearest target. Losing power damages self-worth. Low self-esteem causes us to defend ourselves. Trying to defend ourselves will cause us to strike out at others, either verbally or physically.

Speaking our respect in the way we address someone bestows power upon that person. Honoring someone also bestows power on that person. Powerful people living in a safe environment do not strike out and hurt.

When we criticize we devalue and remove power from our spouse. Are we able to keep quiet when our spouse messes up?

If husbands do not cherish, care for, adore, nourish and elevate their wives they do not love their wife as Christ loves the church. If wives do not submit to their husbands, they are not submitting to God. Marriage submitted to God fosters a union that does not war against, or usurp, the duties or callings of the other.

We should desire to realign our spouse with God by our example. Every attitude, thought, word, or behavior sends an energy out that either helps or hurts our spouse. Everything we think, say, or do either honors or dishonors, not only our spouse, but Christ, our ultimate bridegroom.

There is no neutral. We can tear down our spouse or we can build up our spouse.

To find peace, contentment, and stability we
must begin to bestow power upon our spouses.

Wives have the power to bestow honor upon husbands. Husbands have the power to lift up their wives. It is time for women of God to take their place as accepting, loving, inspiring, valuing, and elevating daughters of Sarah. It is time for husbands to elevate and honor wives from their own position in Christ.

It is time for husbands and wives to join with Christ to create families that are ALIVE.

It is God's desire to resurrect families.
It is time for all of us to bestow honor and respect on every member of every family.

Marriage ALIVE

Accept
The fact that life’s surface is uneven
Wobbles are inevitable from time to time
Stability and balance are precarious and tricky even with three legs

Love
Speak in love, walk in love, support in love
Let our spouse know we do not want their job

Inspire
Spouses to stabilize the family through their union with Christ
Spouses to seek their position of strength, security, and stability in the family and in the community

Value
Ourselves as chosen children of God
Our spouse as vital for the development of the family
Our spouse's position in the family

Elevate
Spouse's value with the strength of our own position
Spouse's value in the eyes of our children and family
Spouse's value in the eyes of the community
Spouse's value in their own eyes

We are never given any more power than we can use in love.

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