Grief

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"I raised him for Heaven"
by Jane Sandford Poole


Raising a child for heaven was not the utmost priority on my mind when my son was born. At the age of 23, I did not fathom the responsibility that was mine concerning my son's eternal soul. As he began to grow I realized he would not only need food for his body but he would most of all need food for his soul. I had been raised in a Christian home by a godly mother who instilled old-fashioned values in me, which would greatly influence me in how I was going to raise my only child.

Randall Dane Sandford (Randy) was born on August 27, 1968. His father and I had married not too long after we graduated from high school in 1963. However, when Randy was 4 1/2 years old our marriage ended in divorce. I began raising my child as a single parent at the age of 29 and would not remarry until I was 61. Raising Randy was not a hard job as God had given me marvelous material to work with. Randy was intelligent, pleasant and outgoing with a wonderful personality. I often told others that Randy was worth ten children.

I took Randy to church faithfully making sure he got a good foundation to build his life on. It was important for me to provide him with a stable home environment and he lived a secure life, knowing that his mother would always be there for him. I was nurturing his soul for the day that he would have to make his own choices in life, especially when it came to God.

Randy excelled in high school and in 1986 entered Auburn University to study architecture. After a bout with mononucleosis in 1989 he transferred to the University of Alabama in Birmingham, graduating with a B.S. degree in psychology in 1991. In 1994 he married his wonderful wife, Cindy, and in 2001 they had their first son, Phillip Austin. Another wonderful son, Andrew Clayton, came along in 2007. Randy and Cindy who had both been raised in Christian homes were also raising their sons in the fear of God.

Having raised Randy from an early age as a single parent, the mother/son bond was very strong. When he married it was apparent that for him to have a successful marriage I should nurture it by respecting the boundaries that a parent should honor in a child's marriage. This was not always easy to do but an unselfish decision I had to make for the happiness of Cindy and Randy. I realized Randy was appreciative of this and it was as if he was saying, "I appreciate your respect of the boundaries, but don't go too far." By having a healthy relationship with Randy and Cindy, I was also nurturing their souls to have right relationships with God.

Randy loved singing for the Lord and he and Cindy both sang in the choir at their church. Occasionally he sang solos at church and often was requested to sing at weddings and funerals. Another love of his was architecture, which he became interested in at a very early age. Though he was not employed in this field, he became a moderator on an Internet Architectural Forum (SkyscraperPage.com) around the year 2000 where he posted photographs he had taken of Birmingham and other surrounding areas. He not only posted photographs he had made of his hometown, Birmingham, but he also posted photos of other major cities he visited. He was well known on this forum for his expertise and exact details on his postings. Along with his postings he also included family snapshots which made him quite unique on an architectural forum. What made him even more unique was his sharing his faith with his fellow moderators. This earned him the respect of many, including some who did not know God.

He often walked to downtown Bimingham on his lunch hour, which was a few blocks away from his office at the UAB School of Nursing, to scout out historic areas of the city for the purpose of returning later to take photographs. On May 19, 2009, he took advantage of the beautiful weather and walked to an area that had been planned as a future railroad park. The moderators on the forum said he had recently posted photos of Amtrak trains at this particular area. While attempting to get to the other side of a stopped train, he was tragically killed when the train suddenly moved.

My world was suddenly changed when Randy was suddenly taken away at the age of 40. According to Christian faith the Bible explains that no one is guaranteed tomorrow, and each day needs to be lived for God. I was devastated but only with the help of God would I survive the test of a lifetime. The viewing at the funeral home was attended by one of the largest crowds the funeral director had ever witnessed, rivaling that of a soldier killed in Iraq. I had never envisioned myself at this point in my life even though it says in the Bible that it is appointed unto man once to die and then the judgement. As each one came to pay their respect I would say to most, "I raised him for Heaven." Some waited in line for over three hours. At the funeral the next day there was standing room only. I was overwhelmed with the response to his death. Randy had truly touched so many lives because of his love for his fellow man. His former pastor, Rev. Mark Correll, performed the funeral ceremony and stated that if Randy had any enemies, it wasn't Randy's fault.

In the year before Randy passed, I felt impressed by God to save the emails he sent me that were of a spiritual nature. He was so close to God and was serving him with such fervor. He was taking his family to church sometimes three times a week and making sure his children were exposed to Biblical teachings. One of his emails ended with the following sentence, "thanks for raising me in the fear and admonition of the Lord. I love you!" Another one said, "thanks for all your prayers and have a great week." On his 40th birthday after sending him an email wishing him a happy birthday, he responded by thanking me and saying "thank you for a wonderful Christian upbringing and for praying me through the teenage years." God blessed me through his emails, and what more could a mother ask for than to have a child make it to Heaven. In my sorrow I know I have truly been blessed by God to have experienced this journey with such a godly son and to have been left with a godly daughter-in-law and two precious grandsons.

I always prayed that God would use Randy to further his kingdom. After hearing the news of Randy's death, members of the architectural forum responded on the first day with so many encouraging comments of what a wonderful man he was. Most of these moderators had never met him and knew him only from his postings on this forum. The Bible says that a good name is rather to be chosen than great riches and as I read their comments (256 in all) on the SkyscraperPage.com forum and the special tribute they created on Facebook (Randy Sandford Tribute Page), I was overwhelmed with how true this verse is. This forum is represented by almost every country in the world and responses came from all over the U.S., Canada, Abu Dhabi, England, Sweden, China, Germany, Holland, Italy and Norway.

Some noteworthy comments are included in the following:

- Randy always seemed to be such a happy and
level headed man. He was a great man and a
great father and husband. He will be sorely
missed.

- He was one of the nicest people on the forum.

- He was such a proud husband and father.

- He seemed like such an optimistic spirit and so
wonderfully proud of his family.

- There are few people I know in life who are as
devoted to their children as he seemed to be
to his.

- Add my voice to the chorus praising the man
most of us only knew through his fantastic
photos, his respectful discourse on Skybar,
and his open and obvious love for his family.

Cindy, the boys and I are so tremendously proud
of the man of God that he was. We know we will
see him again and that he is now in Heaven with the Father who created him. It was an honor to be his mother and to have raised him for Heaven.

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