Faith

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Dear God,

I am sorry for having not written to You sooner. It seems that I have just got caught up with everything the Adversary has thrown at me lately. I should have listened to You much more these past several months, but I am weak. I know how You told me to be “in the world” and not “of the world”. Don’t get me wrong--I am not trying to make excuses for my shortcomings. Sometimes it just seems that You are distant from me. No, that is wrong! I am distant from You! I am trying desperately to rectify that situation.

I know how much You love me! I fear that my love for You is not great enough and it saddens me! I know You hear my cries and know the pains in my heart, but I am weak. I know that You work in my life daily whether I have the good senses to “see” it or not. I know that You speak to me daily whether I have the good senses to “hear” it or not. I know that You reach down and touch me daily whether I have the good senses to “feel” it or not. Sometimes, though, knowing a thing doesn’t seem to be enough--as strange as that statement may be.

I know that You will not place upon me more than I can bear, but please don’t take offense--sometimes, I feel like I am going to completely “crumble” at any minute. This is truly heartfelt and coming from a son to his Father! I know in my heart that You are going to protect me and that You are always at my side, but I am more scared now than I have ever been! My family is against me and I have done nothing except try and protect a child and maintain faith in You. Now, I am all but being forced to feed this child to the wolves! I have successfully fought them off for three years, but I am now almost bankrupt of the resources necessary to continue. I realize that I am a sinner, but from what I have seen here of late, I am a gnat on the hind-end of evil. What must I do?!?

I don’t ask of You anything that I want. I know that You know what is in my heart! I don’t desire money. I don’t desire prestige. I live in a modest home, with a modest vehicle. You gave me my first gift when You called me back. You gave me my next gift with complete sobriety. You then gave me a companion in life. You then deemed me worthy of having a son as my wife cannot have children. You continued to call me to serve You and made me a Youth Pastor! You have given me this precious boy, but evil threatens him and us. I know that You will protect the children, but please bring it to an end soon--please…!

If one is to accuse me of begging, then so be it! We have lived in fear every day for three years now! We have been isolated. We have been lied to and about. We thought that truth would win out, but it seems that it may not. Please, if you have to take away my house or my work or my vehicle then I don’t want them! If You wish to take it all from me then do so, but not this little boy!! If You have to lead me to the ends of the earth, then do so! My wife and I just wish for this boy to be away from the evil and with his true parents! Either of us will gladly give our lives for this child! Some may call us selfish, but I don’t think so.

I love You! My wife loves You! Our precious son loves You! I am ready to do Your Will and not mine. I eagerly await Your response.


Love Always,

Daniel

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