Marriage

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Can God help to fix a marriage torn apart from debilitating addictions? Who has power over addictions? What does the Bible say about addictions? As someone who has lived a marriage centred on addictions, I have asked myself these questions many times. First, question I had was how does the addiction start? There are many reasons why someone can succumb to an addiction. Previous abuse, childhood trauma, poverty, and the list can go on. Growing up where drugs, alcohol, gambling, or what have you are prevalent; it is hard to ignore such occurrences. But, at the same time, normal, every day people, with every day normal lives, and normal childhoods still fall through the cracks. So what happens? Coming from a pretty normal family, I used to struggle with the idea of addiction. But as I started living my life dealing with the after effects of my partner struggling with addictions, I came to realize how Satan works in the under currents of our lives to try and control us.

Six years ago, I met my husband. I was younger than him, and basically fresh out of highschool. After a couple months of dating, at the age of 19, I got pregnant with our first child. Three months into our relationship, I discovered his addiction to crack cocaine. There were numerous attempts to get him clean, and help him, to no avail. His breaking point came after 5 years, and two children later. He’s now been clean for a year and a half.

During the years of struggle and hardship, I tried to learn and understand what is really behind an addiction. I was never a real strong-hearted Christian. I was always a believer, but never really lived Christ-like. But, the one thing that the Lord showed me was that it was Satan trying to destroy our lives. Demons are always working, trying to thwart God’s plan for us. There are many demons that control a number of temptations in our lives. One of my partner’s strongest demons is his addiction. Demons are not just invisible forces tempting us to do things that God displeases. I’ve had experiences where demons were actually a visible and physical presence in our home. When my daughter was three, she saw a ‘mean mean man’ in our room. This was the day after I had a vision in a dream of a large black presence in our home. This presence not only haunted our family, but it spread to my distant family 2000 miles away. One night at around 1:00 am, our phone started ringing. I did not want to answer it, so I let it ring. Then it rang again. After the third time, someone started knocking on our door. Finally, I woke up my husband and told him to go see. It was the police. They had received a phone call from my father, and they were asked to come check on us. I phoned my father, and he told me that a woman with a voice similar to mine had phoned him telling him to get “down here quick”. After I told him it wasn’t me, he phoned my sister, whom also didn’t phone. This strange occurrence happened the day after I told my dad about my daughter’s visitor. After that, I enlisted the help of my local pastor. With his prayers, and mine, and many others, we prayed a hedge around our family. However, for the remainder of our time at that house, I could never rid myself of a dark feeling lurking around the corners.

This demonic experience was just before my husband’s addiction kicked into full force. He began to use heavily after that. It continued for about a year before he hit his rock bottom and finally started to get clean.

Presently, my husband is now dealing with a gambling addiction. He has lost countless paycheques. We struggle day to day. Our landlord is ready to evict us. Our children suffer the effects as well. Even though he is functional, unlike using drugs, it takes a large toll just the same. I have put all my trust in the Lord that things will work according to his plan for us. I pray every day that my husband comes to know the Lord as I have over the recent weeks since I have rededicated my life to the lord. Battling demons can’t be done without God’s help.

In Romans 13:14 Paul says “Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desire of the sinful nature.” Basically saying, do not think about how to satisfy the nature of behaviour deemed destructive. In Alcoholic’s Anonymous, they use a higher power to help over come the addiction through the 12 steps, knowing that to be free of the bondage of addiction, you must trust God. And so, when you turn your life and all its sins over to the Lord, Paul also says in Romans 6:18 “You have been set free from sin and have become slaves of righteousness.” You can be washed of all your sins and you will be righteous! One of my other favorite scriptures is Ephesians 6:12. "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Paul really knew his stuff. We must put on the full armour of God to be able to fight these adversaries.

I know that God has his plan for my husband and I. But, putting all trust and faith in our Lord is the only way to truly overcome adversity. I have remained strong for my husband, because I know that God gave him to me for a reason. I am here to be his rock, and to help him over take these demons in his life. I really, truly believe that if I had not come into his life, he could quite possibly be dead today, and we would not be blessed with our children. Some days, this takes a lot more strength than I think I am capable of handling, but I know that God would not give me more than I could not handle. I am strong because of Him, and my purpose is to glorify Him because of that. What a concept.

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