Christian Living

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Can anyone tell me what to do? What do you do when someone express their feelings towards you and you do not feel the same way? What do you do when the person expressing the feelings towards you is the brother of someone you love dearly? He really do not understand or want to understand that loving someone is just not that easy to get over rather they are married or not. Although I know that I can never be with him because he married someone else, the love I feel for him is so real. He is like the knight in shining armour to me. He is what a woman would want in a man. He is saved, love the Lord with all his heart, sanctified, holy ghost filled and fire baptized. He speak in tongues as the spirit give the utterance and is a prayer warrior. His brother on the other hand could be all of those things and should be but he is a backsliden preacher that need to renew his relationship with God before he even think about being with someone else. I really do not know how he can say it does not matter if I loved his brother or not, there was nothing physical between us and he loves me. I really do not want to even think about him at this point in my life. My life is with God and I am loving God so much, that nothing else matters.

What do you do? What do you say? This person really need help. He is looking for something to latch on to and I am not that something, I am a woman. I refuse to be looked upon as anything less than God made me to be. I am gold. God gave me a mind after Him, a life hid in Him, and a heart that pants after all that he is. I have been broken, misused and abused and God picked up all of my pieces and put them back together again. I desire to be loved; yes. But it will be with someone that pants after the heart of God as I do or more. I never knew I could love God and myself as much as I do. I can love myself more because I came to love God in a more significant way once I learned how to obey his Word and keep His Commandments.

I use to tell God I love him, but his reply would always be Margery keep my commandments. I knew I was missing God and wanted to. One day I refused to be hurt anymore, I refused to sin for a season anymore, and I refused to be abused anymore by anyone. I came to really know God when I obeyed so now God tells me "Margery, I love you" without me telling Him anything.

So now what do you do? When I went to my church on last night to do some mail outs with my Pastor and one of the members, my telephone rang just as I got in my car. I did not recognize the number and answered it thinking it was one of my sons. Well it was Eric. He wanted me to get him something to eat. He wanted me to come and talk to him. He wanted me to do something for him yet he do not do anything that pleases God. I first refused but when he called a second time and played on my emotions about me being a christian and would not help someone that needed it, I went on and picked him up and got him something to eat. I really wanted to talk to him in person anyway to tell him, this was it. He did not want to hear this of course but this is what he god anyway (this is the last time you are to call me to do anything for you or buy you something to eat). His response was what make you think I want all the baggage you come with anyway? Well my baggage don't compare to his. He has two small children, an ex-wife that he is not over yet and a drug habit that he loves. His brother said he was trying so I extended my help longer than I would have, but when God say stop; that's it.

God bless the child that has it's own. Can Eric be loved, yes by someone but that someone is not me. What do you do when you love someone that do not love you back? We talked about his brother and his wife and he wanted to know what she looked like. I told him she was short, long hair, brown skin and looked like some of his cousins. He said well I never met her. I told him that was his brothers business and I did not want to talk about it. As long as he is happy that is all I want for him. Then he asked me about the ring on my finger. "It looks like a solitaire ring" where did you get it? Did you buy that ring or what. I told him no and it was not his business. But I did finally tell him that I had taken my son and grandkids to Mcdonalds on Sunday and as I got out of my car, walked around to the back I found the ring that I originally thought was fake but it is real. Then he begin to talk about marriage and how I felt about a husband where my children were concerned. I told him that when I had a husband my first obesiance is to him. I submit to him and take care of him as if he was a king. My problem was never not doing as a wife for all I knew in life was how to be a good wife. For this reason I feel no regret, remorse or unrest about be divorced over again. I am at peace because I pleased God in my marriages.

What do you do? One day I will remarry again but not until his brother is completely out of my heart. My main focus now is on God and getting the work of the Lord done. We have an awesome work to do concerning intercession and whats needed for this is one mind, one accord, and a heart after the will of God.

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