Marriage

---

Marraige, which way out?
Iron, we are told, sharpeneth iron!
Where wood and iron are rubbing against each other or trying to sharpen each other, one of them will definely lose the battle, VERY FAST!
Guess who!

This article is a contribution and also a thought provoking piece, meant to spur us to feelings of emergency and actions about the case in question of HIGH RATE OF DIVORCE AND BROKEN HOMES

The Atlantic Monthly’s Sandra Tsing Loh , author declared recently that her marriage of 20 years had to come to an end.
Below are excerpts from the article that she wrote about the break down of a long relationship gone sour

“Sadly, and to my horror, I am divorcing. This was a 20-year partnership.
I did not have the strength to “work on” falling in love again in my marriage, as everyone knows, good relationships take work.”

“This is not to say I’m against work. Indeed, what also came out that afternoon were the many tasks I — like so many other working/co-parenting/married mothers — have been doing for so many years and tearfully declared I would continue doing. I can pick up our girls from school every day; I can feed them dinner and kiss their noses and tell them stories; I can take them to their doctor and dentist appointments; I can earn my half — sometimes more — of the money; I can pay the bills; I can refinance the house at the best possible interest rate;”

I’ve since begun a journey of reading, thinking, and listening to what’s going on in other 21st-century American families. And along the way, I’ve begun to wonder, what with all the abject and swallowed misery: Why do we still insist on marriage? Sure, it made sense to agrarian families before 1900, when to farm the land, one needed two spouses, grandparents, and a raft of children. But now that we have white-collar work and washing machines, and our life expectancy has shot from 47 to 77, isn’t the idea of lifelong marriage obsolete?

Just because we know that nearly half of U.S. marriages end in divorce — including perhaps even those of our own parents (my dearest childhood wish was not just that my parents would divorce, but also that my raging father would burst into flames) — doesn’t mean we aren’t confident ours is the one that will beat the odds.

In World Values Surveys taken at the turn of the millennium, fewer Americans agreed with the statement “Marriage is an outdated institution” than citizens of any other Western country surveyed (compare the U.S.’s tiny 10 percent with France’s 36 percent). We are also more religious — more Americans (60 percent) say they attend religious services once a month than do the Vatican-centric Italians (54 percent) or, no surprise, the laissez-faire French (12 percent). At the same time, Americans endure the highest divorce rate in the Western world. In short, although we say we love religion and marriage, Cherlin notes, “religious Americans are more likely to divorce than secular Swedes.”


THE REASON FOR THIS PARADOX IS THAT AMERICANS HOLD TWO VALUES AT ONCE: A CULTURE OF MARRAIGE AND A CULTURE OF INDIVIDUALISM.


We should preach domestic stability for children. Is marriage the best way to ensure this? Apparently not, at least not the way we do it in America.


What I’d like to do now is recant for a moment and not be quite so hard on marriage, which I think is a very good fit for some people. It certainly has been for Judith S. Wallerstein (married more than 48 years, as the jacket flap indicates), co-author with Sandra Blakeslee of the 1995 book “The Good Marriage: How and Why Love lasts.”


Through close observation of 50 happily married couples, the authors identified four templates for lasting nuptial success. The Romantic Marriage thrives on the spark of love that never dies. (Think of those affectionate 80-somethings in convalescent homes, still holding hands.) The Rescue Marriage features partners who fit each other like lost puzzle pieces, healing each other from mutual childhood traumas. (And then there are those shrieky co-dependent pairs: think of fiercely attached couples whose commitment is cemented by a commitment to unwholesome habits. Said a friend of his 70-something WASP parents, who sally off to their frequent cruises with huge Lavoris bottles filled with gin: “What they share is an enthusiasm for drinking.”) The Traditional Marriage succeeds because the man works while the woman runs the home, a clear and valuable division of labor.



Are there some truths in the above?


How do we as Christians show better examples in this case as we have been so stigmatized by our own behavior?


What is the missing link?


We are in the world but not of the world- How can this life be lived without compromises?

This is where the answer to the whole riddle lies!

The word of God says we should not be unequally yoked but these days in the church it seems there has been so much compromising in this regard and assumptions of “I will change him/her after the marriage”(Even when I clearly met him/her as an unbeliever or a person of a different faith)

There is bound to be disagreements, misunderstandings, bitterness, feelings of resentment for the ever-growing lack of agreement on matters of worship, in whose-name-to-worship or who to worship.

This is a major cause of what is going on in Christendom, not trusting the Lord with all the heart and leaning ALWAYS on human understanding in everything, especially in the issue of choosing a LIFE PARTNER..

The natural man does not understand the things of the spirit because they are SPIRITUALLY discerned!
It seems that there is more of discernment in the flesh than the spirit in today’s church

WHICH WAY FORWARD?

Let us turn back to God’s word and do it His way:

Start off with the mind set of WHICH WAY FORWARD NOT OUT! (remember He hates divorce)
Seeking His face for a choice (Most likely in agreement with willing and mature brethren)
Waiting until the answer is received
Accepting His choice as the best and obeying His statutes and commands in it all
Being patient in “Courtship”-God's way!

---

PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BELOW LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE