Most of my life, Father, Iíve lived without You.
Living solely for myself, without any sense of compassion,
without truly caring for others.
Honestly, I was completely unaware of how You truly felt for me,
because Iíve been in my own little world,
self-contained, withdrawn and isolated. All my doing. All out of fear.
I didnít even realize how You hurt from my doings.
There are things I lack in so many ways and in many ways I am still lost.
Iím sad because Youíve suffered from all that Iíve done.
In what way did I glorify You following my own desires?
What goodness have I shown towards You, living for myself?
Iím so sorry for all the blessings Youíve given me
which made me wonder, ďHow did I get through that?Ē
then Iíd quickly go back to my selfish ways.
Not even giving You a thought, a thank you or any kind of acknowledgement.
I was blinded by my own desires, and couldnít see
the endless amount of love Youíve held for me.
Everything about You is goodness and love, I canít live without You,
and Iím not the right person for You,
yet in this bountiful love You hold and give
You live to save me from definite condemnation.
Iím coming to the realization that all I can give back
the only thing that could possibly be worthy,
is complete sacrifice of myself.
All that Iíve known. All that Iíve become.
I pray, Father, that You move me to where I truly want to be,
because where Iíve been, Iím not happy.
I believe the only place Iíll truly be happy is in You.
Give me the strength, Father, to let go of everything
Everything that I know. Everything that Iíve become.
I need strength because this change is painful.
Place my total belief in knowing You can sooth it.
Help me place total confidence in You,
For You see how it can waver.
I am so thankful and glad Youíve given the gift of Your Word,
and most of all the gift of Your Son, Jesus.
Thank You, Jesus! Thank You!
Thank You for helping me notice all those small things
I once overlooked.
Thank you for this site, for the people here,
who share their words of inspiration,
their words of joy, their words of sadness,
their words that let me know Iím not alone,
that remind me, You are always with me and that You care for me.
Donít give up, Father, donít give up on me and donít let me go,
hold me close, hold me in Your hand,
because Iím holding You in my hurting heart.
Have faith in me, that I may have faith in myself.
I ask this in Jesusí name,
Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty,
Who was, and is, and is to come
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