My son and I were having lunch together when out of the blue, he asked me if I had any “childhood” dreams. Tears welled up in my eyes within seconds. I was careful not to reveal my pain to him as I didn’t want to explain or talk about me and my disappointments and regrets.
“No,” I quickly said flatly. He then pressed on curiously, “not even one?” “No,” I repeated sadly. Then, in a mature, therapist like manner he asked, “Well, would you say you had a good childhood?” What’s with this kid? I responded with a harsh answer. Poor kid, as if any of it was his fault!
Abruptly, I turned the question to him. I already new the answers however, yet, I thought I’d give him the chance to release his excitement and eagerness. He mentioned about becoming a famous person, he didn’t know how all the details were going to work out; nevertheless, he seemed quite confident with this thought. Who am I to tell him otherwise? Talk of college football and becoming a singing drummer are all part of his dreams as well. I became the good mom expressing words of encouragement and edification. God, please don’t let him down!
This weeks theme; dreams, seems to be coming at me from a few different angles, "hmm." First, during Monday morning coffee where a vision was shared simply stating that our dreams are not dead, lost, or forgotten forever and the second time, with my son where deep conversation like that just doesn’t happen often. "Hmm."
All this talk about dreams has motivated my mind toward thinking on this topic and as I do, my brain’s receptacles travel off in to all different directions. "Do I really want to go here; do I really need to think about this, is this really of importance, why does it hurt so much, does the past really matter?" I don’t recall any childhood dreams. I’ve spent a large amount of time trying to dig something up and zilch comes to mind. I wonder, “no dreams, yet why the sadness? Maybe, the lack of, the empty space where there should be dreams?”
What I know for sure is that the past is the past and I can not go back and change it. I can learn and move forward, though. I can be an encouragement to those in my life who do have dreams. I also know that I may not have “childhood” dreams but I can certainly have “adulthood” dreams. Over the years, I’ve (we’ve) grown and changed, so the big question is, “what is stopping us from dreaming today?”
Today, I choose to dream. “Hmm…”
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